


Onni, he hates our food!

by gaemmel



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Crack, Emil being even more ignorant than usual, M/M, Onni is a bit of an asshole, a somewhat established relationship, crack that somehow grew into a serious ff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8326516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaemmel/pseuds/gaemmel
Summary: After their expedition was a success, Emil is dragged to Finland by Lalli and Tuuri. To undergo some rituals and follow traditions he hasn't really understood yet. But it seems to have something to do with the fact that he and Lalli are in something that could be called a romantic relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I doubt that many of you know it, but... there is a German/Italian movie called "Maria, ihm schmeckt's nicht!" (translates to: Maria, he doesn't like the food!), which is about a German guy marrying an Italian woman in her hometown and with her Italian family. Cultural problems ensue. I think it's a rom-com. I haven't actually seen it. But me and my bf were having too much fun with the idea.
> 
> This is absolute crack, but my wording is suprisingly serious in there...

Emil fell into a chair and closed his eyes. He felt a little dizzy. The last weeks had been a bit overwhelming, if he was being really honest. 

It had all begun with him and Lalli getting along better and better by the day while they were still on their expedition through the Silent World. Shy glances at each other became shy touches, and those had grown hungrier by the day. A first kiss was exchanged, and many were to follow. Both had begun trying to understand each other so they could actually talk. 

Emil had never been good with languages (he never chose them when he was still home-schooled) and his Finnish was still about non-existent. Lalli’s Swedish was going much better, but still mostly consisted of simple words and two-word sentences. Emil didn’t mind; they were in love. When Lalli buried his head in his chest or let his slender fingers dig around in Emil’s hair, he felt like he was the luckiest person on earth. Fuck language barriers! 

And now, the expedition was over. They had successfully delivered a chunk of books to his aunt and uncle, which earned everyone a bit extra to their pay. But more importantly: A lot of people had gotten notice of what they had accomplished, and they were celebrated all over Sweden! Important people from all branches came to talk to Emil and the others, Sigrun already had had to decline dozens of offers to become a high-ranking strategist in the Swedish military, who usually didn’t even like to accept foreigners into their ranks. 

Emil had immediately been promoted. The bigger salary didn’t affect him much (most of it went home to his parents, who could use it). What was much more important for him: That he got another month off of work, even though spring was about to start and he usually would be taking up his cleanser duties. And this had led to an important conversation with his “boyfriend” (they had never called it exactly that yet, which made Emil a little nervous, actually)…

“Lalli!” 

Emil had come bursting into their shared hotel room in Mora. Lalli, clearly not used to having so much free time, was in bed, half-dozing. He sat up straight and stared at Emil when he came running into the room.

“Lalli, I need to tell you something!” 

Emil said and sat on the bed next to him. Lalli tilted his head. He didn’t need to understand Emil’s words – which he hadn’t – but it didn’t take much deduction skill to understand what Emil’s intentions were. Emil was waving about with a piece of paper: The letter he had just received from his captain.

“Lalli, I got one whole month of leave! A whole month, Lalli!” 

Emil was actually laughing out of pure joy. The last days he had put so much worries into how to make clear to his lover that they couldn’t stay together, that he had to keep working and that they clearly would see each other again as soon as possible… And all of this wasn’t necessary anymore, at least for now! 

Lalli of course hadn’t understood what Emil was saying. Being his usual practical self, he stood up, walked up to the end of the bed, jumped down from it – landing gracefully without making the even the faintest noise, Emil noticed in awe – and quickly retrieved a Swedish/Finnish dictionary that had been lying on a table. Lalli cuddled back under the covers and handed the dictionary to Emil.  
“Oh, yeah, sure.” Emil said. He opened it and started to look up the words he needed. Finnish grammar was insanely complicated, so he didn’t even bother trying to form a real sentence. And since he wasn’t sure about the pronunciation either, Lalli had gotten used to sitting close next to him and watching over his shoulder. 

First, he looked up the word for “leave”. Jätää. Lalli looked at his face in confusion and pointed to the door. “Jätää?” he repeated, to make sure he had seen the right word. 

“Uh… maybe not.” Emil admitted and shook his head. “Let’s try again.”

He searched for the word for work. Tehdä työtä. Then he pointed onto his own chest.  
He knew the word for “no” – ei and the word for I – minä. He guessed that they were probably used entirely different in the context of what he was trying to say, but he just had to count on Lalli’s guessing skills. 

“Minä ei tehdä työtä…” he tried carefully, searching for a response in Lalli’s face so far. At least Lalli seemed to understand some of the message he was trying to get across. 

At last, he looked up the word for “month” – kuukausi. He quickly flipped to the back of the cover of the dictionary, where the numbers were printed. 

“Yksi.” Emil said, to indicate that he had one month off work now.

Lalli’s eyes lit up. “Yksi kuukausi?” he repeated. Emil nodded carefully, hoping he was not currently messing up completely. 

Lalli pressed his lips together, then said: “You. No work. One month long?” in Swedish. “Yes! Yes!” Emil yelled, happy Lalli had understood him right.

Lalli’s face formed into a smile, the first one Emil had seen in a few days, actually. Lalli’s smiles were rare, even when he wasn’t pissed off by something. 

But now the smiled spread all over his face and he hugged Emil close and kissed his cheek, and Emil was in heaven for a moment. Then, just as Emil was about to plead wordlessly for a real kiss to celebrate the occasion, Lalli let go of him, staring at him with wide eyes. The cold hands of panic grabbed Emil’s neck. 

“Telephone. Home.” Lalli said. 

And before Emil had time to be relieved that Lalli just didn’t realize some horrible truth and had to leave him for good, the bony scout got up onto his feet and left their hotel room, running. Emil just stared after him, he had learned that there was no use following Lalli when he ran like that. He would probably not be gone for very long, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that all the Finnish stuff in there is google translated. I do not know Finnish. I'm making do. If you are Finnish and I am mutilating your language, feel free to call me out. Same goes for typos of all kinds. If you wish to do it somewhere else, hit me up on tumblr (same name). Love you all!  
> I hope to post more of this soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emil's agony drags on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments! I am still so amazed at this fandom, everyone is so nice and appreciative here!  
> I was glad to hear that google translate and me did a better job on Finnish then I had dared hoping for.
> 
> The text still sounds very serious, but I actually mean all of this as a joke, I promise!

After that “conversation”, if you insisted on naming it that, everything had gone very fast, and Emil was left more and more confused.

Two days after they had talked about his leave and Lalli had vanished to make his phone call “home” – wherever and whoever he actually meant by that – Lalli came back with train and fare tickets and had brought Tuuri with him. The crew was still seeing each other frequently, everyone was still staying in the same hotel to get a bit of rest, except Reynir, who had stayed in Iceland when the Icelandic rescue boat had picked them up at the end of the expedition.

“Lalli told me you are coming home with us!” Tuuri had greeted him with a hug and these exact words. “That’s so awesome!”

“… am- am I?” Emil had answered, completely dumbfounded. Tuuri had put on a stern look and glanced over at Lalli. They exchanged a bit of Finnish, and then Tuuri said.

“Lalli says you got a month off of cleaner’s work, so you and him decided that you should come and see our hometown and meet everyone! You know, since you and Lalli are so close.” She said with a heart-warming smile. She was very bit approving of whatever was going on between her cousin and Emil.

“Did we?” Emil said, throwing over a glance at Lalli. He looked more awake than usual, and even a bit… excited. _If Lalli is excited to go to Finnland with me, there is no better thing I could spend my leave on_ , Emil thought.

“Oh, yes, we did!” Emil suddenly heard himself saying. “I am very much looking forward to meeting…” he stumbled. “Wait, which of your relatives are actually still alive?”

Emil immediately realized that this was probably a very insensitive question and he was glad Lalli probably didn’t understand it. Tuuri could handle it, though.

“Oh, plenty! There is of course still my brother Onni, and though both ours and Lalli’s parents are dead, and we were raised by our grandma, who is dead, too, we have a lot of aunts and uncles, and my grandparents from the other side of the family. Also, since we grew up in such a small town, we are all kind of a family there.” Tuuri crunched up her nose. “I won’t lie to you, Emil, it will not exactly be easy for you there. There will be a lot of judging eyes on you. But I promise, they all mean well and I bet they will love you in no time!”

Emil was too overwhelmed to speak. He just kept throwing looks forth and back between Lalli and Tuuri. What exactly was he being dragged into here?

A few days later, the three of them embarked on their journey. It wasn’t as long as Emil, who had never been out of Sweden before, had feared, but definitely exhausting. Lalli was miserable, he slept on the train and therefore was too awake to sleep during the part of the journey that was done by ship. Most of the time aboard he lay flat on one of the beds provided, his face even whiter than the sheets he was lying on, occasionally retching. At first, Emil tried to make him feel better and stayed close, but Lalli kept swatting his hand away whenever he tried to reach out to him, so Emil figured it was best to leave him alone and went to play cards at a table with Tuuri. To be completely honest, it was much more fun than watching Lalli suffering, too.

“So, how are you feeling?” Tuuri asked over her cards.

“Um” Emil said. Her question could go in so many directions. “At least not sea-sick?” he offered.

“I meant about this trip!” she said, a little impatiently.

“I… uh, I am glad.” Emil said. “I am a little confused what will happen, you make it sound kind of mysterious, but, really, I appreciate the gesture Lalli made here.”

“Yeah, I never knew he was so much into tradition, either!” Tuuri said while lying down some of her cards, beating Emil to this round. “I always figured he doesn’t really care about the old ways, but since neither his parents nor our dear grandma is around, I suppose this must really mean something to him!”

 _So it was a Finnish tradition to introduce your new significant other to your whole home town? The Finns sure are weird_ , Emil thought.

After that, they kept playing for another few hours and talking about less important things, until they both decided they could use some sleep and laid themselves to rest on two bunks in the vicinity of the one Lalli had claimed earlier.

Around noon the next day, after switching onto a smaller boat with way less people on it, they arrived in the settling Tuuri, her brother Onni and Lalli had lived in for the last years, where Tuuri worked as a skald and Onni and Lalli where scouts, and did their mage work additionally.

Tuuri’s brother was waiting for them on the pier when the boat arrived. His eyes looked red and puffy. When he saw them, we waved frantically, Tuuri ran up to him and the siblings hold each other in a close embrace for a while.

 _Awww, how cute!_ Emil thought. The thought was immediately washed away then Onni lifted his head and gave Emil a dead-eyed stare. It suddenly came back to Emil that he and Onni wouldn’t be able to talk to each other directly, because Emil neither knew Icelandic nor Finnish.

He nervously hold up his hand. “Hello?” he offered. Onni didn’t take it. Emil looked back for help, and realized Lalli had just scuffed past the three of them and was on his way somewhere into the very small settling they had arrived in. Probably his bed. Emil had a hard time not to be offended that Lalli abandoned like that. Then he tried looking at Tuuri. Was he doing something wrong here? Was he supposed to, what did he know, bow or something? He once heard of a people that cuddled their noses together as a greeting. The thought of having to touch noses with Onni made his stomach twist in fear.

“Um, nice to meet you, Onni.” Emil said slowly, hoping to get at least some of the message across. Onni just kept eyeing him and said something to Tuuri, who seemed a little upset about her brother’s words and answered accordingly. She smiled at Emil apologetically.

“Excuse my brother, he is not in a good mood today. He is happy to meet you, too!” While Tuuri was still talking, Onni turned around and left. “Oh,” Turi said, “he just said he has something urgend to do. I’ll just go with him and uh, do some catching up. Lalli’s house is the numer 15, just knock, he will eventually let you in I bet, see ya!” Tuuri kept speaking quicker and quicker as she gathered her stuff and began running after her brother.

 _Something is clearly not right here_ , Emil thought. _But what? Why does Onni hate me so much?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologize for any insults Finnish people might take from this text, like, in general. I do not do this to piss anyone off. I just enjoy writing crack...


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, the four of them embarked on another ship. Both Lalli and Emil were in a terrible mood. Lalli had basically spent the last day sleeping, and it had taken quite some time of knocking and shouting until Lalli had let his boyfriend inside of his small room. As soon as he had opened, he went straight back to bed and cuddled into his covers.

_He could at least have tried to show me around a little,_ Emil had thought. After maybe an hour of dozing next to Lalli, Emil had gone out to take a look at the settling. Everyone he passed him gave him strange looks, some people even shouted something at him from afar. Emil didn’t understand a word, but the tone was clear, and he felt more uncomfortable by the minute. When it was time for dinner that night and Lalli wasn’t willing to leave the bed, Emil had to search for Tuuri until the person who was giving out the meals would serve him, and even then, she only did it very reluctantly. _Why do they all hate me so much,_ Emil kept wondering.

The boat they took this time was a private one, operated by Onni and another guy who looked kind of similar to him. Except Emil, Tuuri, Lalli, Onni and his silent Finnish boat-friend, just an old lady got on. She had approached Onni earlier when they were about to leave, and Onni had smiled politely – the first time Emil had seen him to that – and made an effort to help her on board.

Now their small vehicle slowly crept along narrow waterways. Emil, Tuuri, Lalli and the old woman had been stuffed into the small cabin, while Onni and his buddy were outside, doing boat things and talking to each other in harsh-sounding Finnish.

Tuuri was having a chat with the old woman, Lalli was sleeping again, but at least he was slumped against Emil’s shoulder, so Emil could wrap his arms around his lover and keep both of them warm.

The old woman, though she was engaged in what sounded like a nice conversation to Emil with Tuuri, kept staring at him. _She probably hates me, too._ Emil thought gloomily.

Suddenly, Tuuri got up. “I need to pee…” she whispered to Emil, a little embarrassed, before she left the cabin. Before Emil got to wonder what was so bad about that, thinking about the fact that they had had to go to the toilet in the woods for months, the old woman was suddenly creepily close to his face. She came closer until Emil could smell her old people smell and he immediately stopped breathing. She leaned in to his ear.

“Olet… kaunis…” she breathed into his ear, before sliding back onto her seat and pretending nothing happened. _Do I want to know what that meant?_ Emil wondered. _Probably: I slit your throat in your sleep, motherfucker._

The old woman had a content smile on her face and kept eyeing him. Emil felt defeatd. _Just get it over with already... Please throw my body in the sea before poor Tuuri gets back, she doesn’t need to see this._

Of course, nothing like that happened, the woman remained where she was and eventually, Tuuri came back.

Around noon, they arrived in the hometown of Tuuri, Onni and Lalli. It was nothing more than a small island around a bunch of other islands, with a pier that basically was two long planks nailed together.

The boat came to a halt and Onni and his friend, whose name was a secret Emil still wasn’t let in on, fastened the boat, then first helped the spooky old woman on land. Onni insisted on helping Tuuri, too, which of course was heavily refused by the same, and as soon as she had hopped onto solid ground, the siblings started arguing. Emil was busy waking up Lalli.

“Hey…” he whispered softly. “We’re home, you need to wake up. We need to get off the boat.” He tried to speak louder, and eventually Lalli woke up, but he was still sleepy and unwilling to move, so he just clang to Emil’s neck, placed a lazy kiss on Emil’s cheek and rested his head against Emil’s chest.

_Maybe I can carry him over?_ Emil wondered. _That would be so romantic…_

He decided to give it a try. He carefully stood up, shoved one arm under Lalli’s knees and another one underneath his back, and heaved Lalli up. He wasn’t as heavy as a normal-weighted person would have been, but carrying someone on your out-stretched arms is still very hard. Two steps out of the cabin Emil realized that this was probably a horrible idea.

The thought got further proof when he saw the faces of the others waiting on the pier. Tuuri’s smile was disapproving, the old woman gasped and looked away, and Onni and his friend just looked outright disgusted.

“Ei!” Onni yelled and Emil almost let Lalli fall down. “Ei! No, stop!” Onni repeated. He made attempt to come back over to the boat. Lalli, already half-awake, no seemed to realize what was going on and quickly got onto his own feet and hopped over onto the pier. Emil had a hard time following because the boat was swaying heavily now, and nobody made an attempt to help him.

“You!” As soon as he was standing on the pier, Onni stormed over to him and poked a finger into Emil’s chest. Onni gravely shook his head. “Don’t.” he said. Emil was just so confused, and he didn’t have the Finnish to ask anyway, so he just helplessly lifted his hands and shrugged.

Onni threw a sharp glance over his shoulder and yelled something. Tuuri came running. Onni barked a few sentences, yelling them directly into Emil’s face as if he were able to understand him. Tuuri pressed her lips together and nodded a few times. Then, everybody else but Tuuri left the pier into the settling.

“What the gods is going on here, Tuuri? What happened, what did I do wrong? I just wanted to help Lalli get over, he was tired!” Emil tried to explain himself.

Tuuri shook her head. “Emil, I’m sorry, you couldn’t know, of course, and why should have anyone told you? You can’t just,” she swallowed “pick someone up like that. It’s very lewd.”

“Lewd? Are you kidding me?!” Emil shouted.

But Tuuri seemed actually embarrassed. “It’s, look, I know you and Lalli definitely have something there, and I am glad this is happening, but you can’t just pick him up like you are already married. Around here, carrying someone adult on your outstretched arms means that you literally want to carry them to bed.” She even blushed a little. “I don’t want to know what exactly you have done and what not, but try to be a little careful. I can’t believe Lalli actually wasn’t seeing his coming and let you do that…” and with that, shaking her head, she picked up her bag pack and left the pier, Emil trailing behind her.

_These people are all crazy. Why am I here. They are all bat-shit crazy and I should get out of here as soon as I can. Also: married ALREADY?!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Emil thinks shit can't get any weirder... it does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for all the kudos and comments! I feel like I am really writing this mostly for myself and for my bf to have a little laugh, but I am also very happy I got into writing again. And as long as it flows out of me like this, I'm happy, no matter the outcome.

As if the day hadn’t already been a disaster, Emil had no choice but follow Tuuri and the others straight into hell: A swarming town square filled with people, most of them currently busy swarming around the new-comers, many people hugging Onni or shaking his hand. Tuuri was greeted with an even bigger ruckus. Emil tried to hide behind a house, but the old woman from the boat grabbed his jacket and held him in place. Tuuri was hugged by a lot of women of all ages, kissed one the forehead by old men and women alike, a young woman even brought her baby and Tuuri greeted the little thing like it was an old friend.

 _This is all very heart-warming, but why can’t I just leave and never come back?_ Emil asked himself, carefully eyeing the old woman still grabbing his jacket. And before Emil could see it coming, said old lady leaned into him again.

“Olet… kaunis…” she smiled at him before she leaned out of his personal space again. Emil tried not to shudder. If this lady was going to kill him, now would actually have been a great time. He kind of would have welcomed it. But it didn’t look like it.

Lalli was greeted more reluctantly then Tuuri and Onni, but still a lot of people came over and shook his hand, seemed to congratulate him. And Lalli took it with calm polite smiled and the occasional pat on the back for some chosen minority. If Emil hadn’t been so busy wishing death upon himself, he would have been jealous, since Lalli usually gave out touches sparser than that.

Slowly, as Onni started to talk to people more and more, the attention seemed to shift… onto him. Emil couldn’t have felt more uncomfortable.

Lalli came over and stood next to him. Emil would have liked to hold his hand, but didn’t dare. He apparently at already crossed a huge red line today, no need to push his luck further.

Suddenly, people were swarming around them, shooting them with questions. Lalli actually didn’t seem too comfortable about the attention and having to answer everything. Old people shouldered themselves in the first row, looking Emil down closely, one old man grabbed his arm and seemed to test the muscles in it, looking only half-content when he let go of Emil. There was a flock of younger people, girls and boys alike, maybe about his age, who came and stared and one girl pinched his cheek, laughing at the shriek he gave. Emil was humiliated. And all the time these people were talking in loud, fast Finnish, impossible for him to understand.

Then, everyone suddenly retreated. Emil knew better than to be relieved, and he was right: Two men gracefully passed through the crowd. They were both well over fifty, and both of them were clad in what Emil figured to be traditional mage clothing. They both had the grace of feral cats, even though they seemed huge to Emil. They wore fur and rough clothing, and their bodies were adorned with parts of animal’s skulls and teeth and paint. On their foreheads, they both had a pattern of arrows painted. Emil swallowed when they finally reached him. He would have liked to ask someone what to do, but he didn’t dare speak.

They came to a halt in front of him and Lalli and eyed him over with a stern look. The left one, who was slightly taller and had a face sterner, extended both hands to Lalli, who took them, and together they both seemed to recite something, maybe a spell.

Emil just stood still and tried to not make any grave mistakes by accident. After reciting their little poem or whatever, the two men engaged in some conversation with Lalli that seemed to be very important. Everybody listened and Lalli spoke quick and sounded nervous. It made Emil’s heart clench even tighter. Maybe Lalli had to justify himself for bringing a stranger to town? What if they couldn’t forgive it? Would they both be punished?

Emil didn’t even dare thinking about what these men could do to them, yet he swore to himself he would protect Lalli to his last breath.

Lalli now had spoken another sentence, and Emil’s name had been mentioned in it. The crowd seemingly seemed to react to it with more intense whispers, he could hear his name repeated, though heavily mispronounced, a few times. Tall Scary Man smiled a little. The exchanged a look with Slightly Less Tall Scary Man. They nodded in agreement, and Slightly Less Tall Scary Man offered his hands to Emil, who took them without hesitation.

“You have our blessing.” He man suddenly said in Swedish. Emil was baffled, and the crowd started cheer, though not everyone, and after that, the excited talking begun anew.

Tall Scary Man and his friend left to scare someone else, and Emil finally slumped back against the wall behind him.

 

Later, they were invited into the house of what seemed to be an aunt and uncle of Tuuri, Onni and Lali and their children. They had a comfortable house in the settling, and two girls around their age, probably a bit younger, identical twins. At the dinner table they all shared, they kept talking to Tuuri in excited Finnish that sounded even faster than usual and all three of them could harldy ever stop giggling. Emil found it unnerving, and his only hope was Lalli’s hand occasionally touching his leg under the table.

But at least their aunt and uncle spoke Swedish.

“So, Emil.” Their uncle, an actually friendly looking man named Alvar said. “You are a cleanser, I heard?”

“Yes, sir.” Emil replied, very happy to finally be able to talk to somebody.

“And where are you currently stationed?” Alvar asked. Emil described the location.

“So, that is quite far away from here.” Alvar said gravely. _I can’t say I’m too sad about that,_ Emil thought. _Otherwise I might have to visit again._

“Have you already made plans for the future?” Alvar asked next. His wife, a concerned but mild looking woman named Ranghild, placed a hand on his arm. “Alvar, please.”

“Um, excuse me, but what do you mean with that?” Emil asked. They both eyed him.

“Well, you and Lalli obviously have to have a place together soon.” Alvar said. _Do we? Why?_ Emil thought, although he wasn’t unhappy about the idea of being able to re-organize his life around his lover.

Lalli heard his name and seemed to ask for a translation for what Alvar had just asked. At the other end of the table, Tuuri was quietly translating every spoken word for her cousins and Onni, who looked grimmer by the minute.

“Um,” Emil said “I am sure we will be able to figure something out. The Swedish military promoted me, maybe I could work something out with them…?” he said, unsurely.

“And then, there is of course the language question.” Aunt Ranghild now began. “You obviously have to learn Finnish.”

 _And why can’t Lalli learn Swedish?_ Emil thought defensively. _It’s easier and a lot more people speak it._

“Um, yes, I am trying, but it is, um, not very easy.” Emil stammered, feeling attacked by all these inquiries. At least Ranghild and Alvar seemed to understand that.

Ranghild said: “Lalli has never been too good with words. I offer to dedicate some of my hours to teaching you as long as this goes.”

Emil smiled politely. “That’s very kind of you, Ma’am.” It might actually be worth a shot, who knew? It certainly couldn’t hurt, although Emil would have liked Lalli learning Swedish much better.

After dinner, Lalli grabbed his hand and led him upstairs into a bedroom the aunt told him that they would be allowed to share if “he didn’t try anything funny”.

 _Is she talking about me setting the house on fire or touching Lalli’s private parts? Because I would like to do both, and neither is going to happen_ , Emil thought.

As soon as the door was closed though, Lalli closed the distance between them and kissed him on the mouth softly. Emil immediately wrapped his arms around the other boy, feeling like he was finally payed back for everything he had faced the last days. But it was over too quickly – Tuuri knocked and they broke apart. Apparently the aunt and uncle wanted to talk to Lalli again, all solice Emil had was the apologizing and kind of … hungry look Lalli shot back at him when he got back downstairs alone.


	5. Chapter 5

The night that had followed had been quite nice, too – the uncle had set up two separate beds for them in the room, but as soon as Emil had settled under the covers, Lalli had climbed over to him and they had spent the night cuddled together close. It was probably their luck that they were woken up by Tuuri this morning.

But after Emil and Lalli had got up and Lalli had vanished into the bathroom, she shot Emil another concerned look.

“Look, Emil, I really couldn’t care less what the two of you- “she began again, but Emil interrupted her.

“Oh for the gods’ sake, Tuuri, we were just sleeping in the same bed!” then, he went on quieter: “Lalli and me have only kissed before, like, a few times. I am not even sure what is going on between me and him. And I am definitely still not very clear what I am doing HERE. There you go.”

He left her standing like that. The next breakfast was as awkward as the dinner had been the day before, again they wouldn’t leave him alone with weird questions and talk that made him uncomfortable. Lalli was quietly munching his food, Tuuri whispering translations to her amused twin cousin girls. Emil realized absent-mindedly that he didn’t even catch the girls’ names so far.

After breakfast was over, Aunt Ranghild said: “Emil, two of our fellow towns men are going to pick you up soon, I advise you to get ready.” Emil knitted his brows.

“What are going to do with me?” He’d almost said “do _to_ me”.

Ranghild looked disapproving. “Alvar told you – your first test!” Emil frantically searched his short-term memory for any mention of a test, but couldn’t find anything. “I am sorry, ma’am.” He said politely. “I think I am still overwhelmed by the environment here.” He tried to explain clumsily. As he was sitting on the kitchen table, not sure what to do, he saw that Alvar just opened the door to two men, talking to them, then calling for Lalli, who got up and left with them without another word, but – Emil felt calmed – running his hand softly through Emil’s hair before leaving.

“Where are they going?” Emil asked no one in particular.

“Lalli is of course examined, too.” Uncle Alvar said, coming back from the hallway. “Even though you might be examined closer because we don’t really know you, Lalli of course needs to prove himself fit, too.”

It didn’t occur to Emil had he probably should have asked what Lalli had to prove himself fit for.

A minute later, two more men arrived at the doorstep and Emil went with them. They were both a bit taller than him, but according to their clothing, they were ordinary towns people. Emil greeted them friendly and tried to engage in conversation, but they didn’t seem to speak Swedish.

They walked through town for a few minutes, Emil still couldn’t shake the feeling that everybody was staring at him. They soon arrived at a house that had an unlocked front door. In the gloomy light, Emil realized that they had brought him to a carpenter’s shop.

The two guys kind of shoved him inside, then one of him turned to Emil and tried to talk to him.

“You.” He said. “Make…” he looked at his hand as if he had written something down on there. “Sleigh.”

“Excuse me?” Emil said, upset. “Are you trying to tell me that I should build a sledge? I am a cleanser, a man of the military, not a _carpenter_!”

They either hadn’t understood him or didn’t care, but they remained where they were.

“You make sledge and you get Lalli.” Emil squinted at them. “Get Lalli? I was not aware that Lalli was something to be gotten. If Lalli _chooses to_ engage in any kind of relationship with me, it is entirely his and my concern. And I don’t understand why you or anybody else really should have a say in this!” Emil ranted. They still did not seem to understand or care.

 _What is wrong with these people here?_ Emil wondered. But since they did seem determined to keep him where he was until he did as he was told…

Emil sighted. “Fine.” He looked at the two oafs watching him. “Will I get any help from you?”

He wasn’t sure if they had actually understood him this time, but one of the guys handed him what looked like a simple constructional drawing. Emil swallowed and took a deep breath.

“Okay…” he said. “Let’s do this.”

The next few hours were a disaster, but at least Emil had no one around to see. Soon after he had brought together the tools he guessed were the most essential to his quest, the two guys had vanished into another room and were apparently playing cards, not paying any attention to him.

After about three hours, several repressed crying fits that stemmed from plain desperation and the feeling of not getting anything right, Emil figured that there was nothing he could do anymore: His sleigh was finished. It looked terrible, and when he got the two guys to look at it, they nearly cried laughing. Emil was humiliated and angry.

What kind of twisted game was this? Why did they make him do this?

They left soon after, and to much of his distress, Emil had to pull the damned thing he build on a string behind him. The streets were luckily not that full on the way back, but often enough he heard ill-meant laughter fill the streets around him when someone walked past them. When the two guys had walked him back to the house of Lalli’s relatives, Emil was quick to shove that darned thing inside of the house to hide it from anymore prying eyes.

“Oh, you’re back!” Tuuri greeted him and they walked into the living-room together. Alvar and Ranghild were nowhere to be seen, but the twin girls were sitting on the table, bend over some drawing, and talking intensely. “How was your first test?” Tuuri asked.

“Um… let’s not talk about it.” Emil said. He looked around. “Is Lalli upstairs?”

Tuuri shook her head. “Lalli is with the cooks today.”

When Emil tilted his head, she explained: “Usually, the dinner in town is eaten together by everyone, except on Sundays. Of course everyone has to help with the cooking, we have a plan for that. And one of the tests both of you are going to have to face is help create a special meal. So you are going to eat what Lalli cooked for you tonight!” Tuuri grinned.

Emil thought of the time Lalli had thrown a whole, unprepared, uncleaned squirrel in Mikkel’s soup and swallowed heavily. “Does that mean Lalli will have to build a sledge tomorrow, too?”

Tuuri nodded and Emil sighed heavily in relief. “Somehow, I find that thought very calming.” He said.

They spend the rest of the afternoon in conversation and playing cards, because that was something the twins could join in, even if them and Emil couldn’t talk. Around six, everyone got ready to go and they met what seemed like to be the whole town outside on the town’s square, sitting down on long wooden tables.

Emil sat down with Tuuri and her relatives, a moment later, Onni joined them, too, sitting just opposite of Emil and glaring at him. They only had to wait for a few more minutes, then first a set of people in aprons appeared and started giving out dinner. The group was very mixed, men and women of every age, and a few children of all ages, to a very cute five year old boy who was struggling hard to not spill anything while he carried small sauce bowls to every table. Emil was watching frantically, because there was no sign of Lalli yet.

When the people with the food reached them, they did not serve Emil, in fact, they ignored him completely. The woman who brought them jugs of beer and hot tea in fact set them as far away from Emil as possible. Emil was offended. Everyone sat down and the whole town enchanted something together, then started eating. Emil sat in silence.

Then, suddenly, Lalli appeared from where the other cooks had come earlier, carrying a large plate and a mug. He looked exhausted. The thought that Lalli had gone through what seemed to be a lot of trouble just to serve him dinner warmed Emil’s heart. Tuuri next to him made “Awww!”

Lalli came and set the plate in front of Emil. “Kiitos!” Emil said, whipping out his best broken Finnish for this occasion. Lalli didn’t smile and just made a little gesture with his hand. He looked very embarrassed. Suddenly Emil realized that once again, the attention had shifted towards them. There were still people talking and not caring about them, especially on the tables farther away, but still. Emil took the mug Lalli had set in front of him and took a sip. It was … he didn’t know. He took another sip. He would have liked to ask, but he didn’t dare. It seemed to be some kind of juice, it was very sweet, whether it was alcoholic or not, Emil wasn’t completely sure. He smiled shyly at the people around him.

“They wanna know how you like the juice.” Tuuri next to him said.

“Oh.” Emil said, noticing Lalli still hadn’t moved away from his spot behind him. Normally, if he ever would have to make him food, Lalli would do his job and walk away after it.

 _So this must have been part of the task? To stand behind me and look nervous?_ Emil thought.

“It’s very good!” he said into the round, smiling and giving an awkward thumbs-up at the jug. People smiled back and seemed to talk about this news.

Now Emil took up the fork and looked at the food. It seemed to be some kind of fish that looked kind of mangled and a green sludge. Next to it was a small bowl of white stuff with pieces in it, and there seemed to be berries on top of it.

Emil carefully forked up a piece of fish. It was _very_ salty, and the strong taste made him want to cough and grab the juice, but he quickly supressed it before anyone could notice. Then he tried the green sludge, it seemed to be something that once had been vegetables. It was okay, but also saltier than it was probably supposed to be.

“And?” Aunt Ranghild asked from two places away.

“It’s all very good!” Emil said. He quickly stuffed more fish in his mouth to disable himself from answering any questions and poured down more of the juice. His judgement was apparently very important, because after he said that and Tuuri had repated his answer in Finnish once, everyone on his table started clapping and cheering. Emil was made stand up and walk with Lalli to a place on one end of the tables where a separate table was set up for Tall Scary Man and his friend where everyone could see them well. Lalli grabbed his hand, and Emil felt better and even more embarrassed at the same time.

Aunt Ranghild had followed them to the front, exchanged a few words in Finnish with Slightly Less Tall Scary Man, and then everything went quiet when she announced something in Finnish. With every word she said, Lalli was blushing more red and pressing Emil’s hand harder. At last, the crowd cheered and Lalli snuggled up against Emil into something that could almost be a hug.

When they walked back to their places to finally eat their dinner in peace, Emil decided that he gave up. These people were clearly crazy. He was not going to ask any more questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear you guy's assumptions about what is actually going on here <3  
> Also, I apologize all the Finnish weirdness. Try to remember that I am not talking about the Finns that live in our timeline. Those are a whole different, more sane (and probably less tradional) set of Finns, about which I do not claim to know anything.


	6. Chapter 6

On the way back to the house, the whole Hotakainen family was unusually cheery, they had Lalli in their midst, talking to him and clapping him on the back all the time. One of their cousins kept shouting and was shushed by her parents all the time. Tuuri was tearing up a little.

The only ones who weren’t joining in were Emil and Onni. Emil because he simply felt uncomfortable by all the attention these people were giving him. Onni looked even grumpier than before, and Emil didn’t even dare looking at him.

When they got to the house, Lalli managed a quick disappearance, taking Emil by the hand and leading him to their shared bedroom.

“Oh, finally…” Emil sighed when the door closed behind him. He smiled an unsure smile at Lalli and extended his arms, and the two boys hugged for a while.

When they parted, Lalli gave him a long look.

“Hm?” Emil said.

“I’m happy.” Lalli said in Swedish.

Emil found that this was a bit of a surprise to him. They had been dragged around by strangers and had to fulfil weird tasks all day and now Lalli announced that he was happy?

Emil smiled at Lalli because he didn’t want to spoil his good mood, wherever it came from. He extended his arms once again, and when Lalli came to him this time, their lips met in the gentlest of kisses. Emil was ready to part again after a few seconds, assuming that was what Lalli wanted, but he was wrong. Lalli moved them over to the bed, stumbling over each other’s feet, and when they sat down, their lips still not leaving each other, Lalli let himself fall onto the bed and pulled Emil half on top of him. This was a completely new way to be close, and Emil felt his whole body reacting to it, adrenaline rushing through his veins and a warm feeling in his lower belly.

Lalli opened his mouth and Emil immediately mirrored him, their tongues met and circled around each other, making them both gasp and press their bodies against each other even closer. When Emil was right about to lure Lalli’s tongue into his own mouth, the door burst open.

Emil rolled off Lalli and landed with his butt on the floor. He was still breathing heavily, but both his breath and his heart immediately stopped when he saw who was standing in the doorway: It was Onni.

_That’s it, good bye, cruel world. Lalli, I hope you think about me sometimes, when you are lying in the arms of…_

Onni stormed into the room, yelling things at him in Finnish. He grabbed Emil by the shirt and yanked him upright. He yelled at him some more, tiny drops of spit landing in Emil’s face.

Lalli stood next to Onni, shouting as well, grabbing the arm that was holding Emil and pulling on it, but he wasn’t strong enough, Onni wasn’t taller than Lalli, but he had quite a bit more muscle.

“Leave me alone, get off me!” Emil shouted, trying to push Onni away.

Onni said more things, shouting at both Emil and Lalli, Lalli giving loud, angry replies. Emil didn’t understand a word of it, except that his name was sometimes in there.

Suddenly, Tuuri also came running.

“Onni, what are you doing?” she shouted in Swedish, running over to them and pulling Onni and Emil apart, placing herself between them, her back to Emil and Lalli. Now she began exchanging quick, angry words with Onni, with Lalli sometimes saying something, too. Emil slowly stumbled backwards and sat on the bed, watching the unreal scene take place.

Finally, Onni huffed one last time and looked at Emil. “We talk.” He said in Swedish.

Emil didn’t respond. Lalli came over to him and placed a hand on Emil’s shoulder, which made Onni look like he was going to flip his shit once again. Tuuri said something and pushed him out, closing the door right behind him. Then she turned around to them and gave a deep sigh.

“My gosh, I have never seen Onni had angry since that one time I begged Lalli into making me levitate above the ground…” she said. Emil regretted that this was not the time to ask about that story.

“What the HELL is going on, Tuuri? Was Onni angry that Lalli and me kissed?”

Tuuri swallowed. “He made it sound quite different.”

“Seriously Tuuri, could you please just one believe us? Apart from the fact that this is not your business, like, _at all.”_   Emil was seriously getting fed up.

Tuuri threw her hands into the air. “And I don’t _care_ , either, Emil! For all I care, you could be doing anything! But it just doesn’t work that way here.”

She sat down next to him on the bed. Emil sighed. “Thanks for stopping Onni from carving my head in or something.” The fact that Tuuri didn’t try to play it down made everything even scarier.

She exchanged a few sentences with Lalli, who sat in one corner of the bed, obviously upset and wanting to pull himself out of all of it.

“Emil, Onni said he wants to talk to you through me, and I think we should grand him that wish. Maybe we can make something right.” Emil seriously didn’t want to, but nodded. What else could he do?

“When?” he asked.

“Not right now.” Tuuri answered. “He should calm down a bit first, or he is just going to start screaming again.” She got up. “I’ll go and see if he already went telling Alvar and Ranghild.”

_Where I call from, we call people like him snitches and no one likes them_ , Emil thought. 

When Tuuri had left, but let the door open and thrown them a meaningful glance, Emil turned to look at Lalli, who flopped down on the bed, calming this breathing with closed eyes. Emil carefully placed a hand on Lalli’s side, and the other boy placed his own hand on it. They stayed like that for quite a while.

Apparently, Onni had had the decency to not snitch on them because he had stormed right out of the house, and Tuuri told them later that she was able to explain the shouting with something else because Alvar and Ranghild hadn’t overheard the exact words. This seemed so unlikely to Emil that he almost started to believe in the gods.

Eventually, it was already kind of late, Tuuri came in again. Emil had by now laid his head on Lalli’s side, who had fallen asleep. He slowly set up and carefully removed himself from the bed so he wouldn’t wake Lalli, then he left the room and closed the door.

“He was really upset because of all the shouting…” Emil explained. Tuuri nodded. “He has that. I think my aunt and uncle used to fight a lot when he was small… he can’t stand people yelling.”

She walked a few steps down the hallway and Emil followed.

“I think Onni is calmer now, so let’s try and make a few things better. Just so you know: I will try to stay out of the actual discussion as much as possible, I will just translate back and forth, okay?” Emil nodded his head, although he wasn’t happy about having to face Onni and his anger basically all alone.

They entered what seemed to be Onni’s bedroom. When they entered, Onni stood up and sat at the same table that was standing against a wall. Tuuri and Emil took seats, too.

Onni started right away, growling something. Tuuri didn’t look pleased, but started the job she had subjected herself to.

“You must be bloody pleased with yourself.” It was surreal hearing that sentence from Tuuri’s voice.

“What do you mean?” Emil asked. Tuuri translated, Onni spat something back.

“You know very well what I mean.”, Tuuri translated, her face a mask. Emil realized that this was not leading anywhere like this.

“Onni, what is actually your problem with me?” Emil asked. Tuuri translated it. Onni answered.

“That a godless, dumb Swede like you is marrying my cousin, that’s what’s bothering me.”

Emil furrowed his brows. “Who said something about marrying? We are not even officially a couple yet.” Tuuri stared at him, breaking her habit. She quickly said something to Onni, but it didn’t seem to be the translation of what Emil just said, and Emil’s name was in there, too. Onni suddenly grinned, then started laughing, wheezing something.

“Um, Emil?” Tuuri said. “You… you are kidding, right? You are aware that you are marrying Lalli in two days?”

Emil stared at her. “What.”

Tuuri’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates. “But… how can you not know? I mean, how could Lalli have failed to communicate that? I mean, that’s why you came here in the first place! That’s what Aunt Ranghild officially announced tonight?!”

“What the _fuck_ are you even _talking_ about?!” Emil shouted. “No one, I swear, no one has never even bothered to say so much as a word to me about this! Who even _decided_ that? Fuck!” he swore, storming out of the room and into his and Lalli’s. Lalli sat upright and looked at him with a confused expression when he barged into the room. Tuuri came running after Emil, shouting his name.

“What the fuck, Lalli!” Emil yelled. “When did you decide in your pea brain that I am going to marry you? Is that why you dragged me with you in this strange country where no one speaks my language? … is that the reason I am stared at and hated by everyone in this fucking town?!”

Of course, Lalli hardly understood anything. He just sat there with a pained expression and looked at Tuuri for help. All Lalli knew was that he was being shouted at by the boy he loved without any apparent reason.

“Emil, stop yelling!” Tuuri said harshly, which shut Emil up. She turned to Lalli, asking in Finnish: “Lalli, Emil did not know you two are going to marry. How could that happen? I thought you had talked about this with him before you informed me!”

Lalli swallowed, looking at Emil with a hurt expression. Emil just stood there, listening dumbly.

“I… I…” Lalli stammered, all the trouble and the yelling too much for him. “I don’t know.” He got up and left the room with quick steps, pressing his hands to his ears and running as soon as he was on the corridor. “Lalli!” Tuuri shouted after him, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

She sighed and turned to Emil. “We scared him off. You shouldn’t have yelled at him, Emil.”

“Well, maybe he shouldn’t have kept the fact that I am giving him my fucking hand in _marriage_ soon from me!” Emil shouted. “Why is everybody in this country crazy?!”

He paced through the bedroom. “Now I get everything, now everything makes sense! All the questions, the weird phrasing, those weird tall guys checking me out, the bullshit test… everything!”

Tuuri stood there, waiting until Emil had calmed down.

“What… what do you want to do now?” she asked. “Leave him?”

“Gods, no!” Emil yelled, stopping and looking at her. “I’m gonna marry the fuck outta that asshole, and you know what? As soon as that is done, I wanna leave this place to never come back and teach my _husband fucking **SWEDISH**_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Emil, calm down. It's just marriage.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing another "OC" nobody needs. But at least she's nice to our poor Emil.

Lalli didn’t come back that night, but no one had honestly expected him to. Emil lay in bed and after his first anger had passed, he tried not to worry too much.

When he woke up in the morning, Lalli was there – on the other bed, rolled into the covers, fast asleep.

Emil felt a last sting of anger, but also a rush of relief when he saw him. Breakfast was quieter than usual, until Emil broke the silence.

“What’s the ceremony going to be like?” he asked without any introduction.

Everyone looked at him.

“So you are still planning on going through with it?” Aunt Ranghild asked, somewhat surprised.

Emil nodded. “Yes, definitely. Although I wish _someone_ had informed me earlier.” This blow was directed at everyone, and the table went quiet again. Even Alvar and Ranghild had guilty looks on their faces.

Then, Ranghild spoke again: “The ceremony is a little different for every couple –our town’s leaders will decide about the exact schedule. They will take your personalities – or your presumed personality in your case – into account.” Emil wondered what the hell that was supposed to mean.

_If they take Lalli’s personality into account, we will all sleep for 12 hours, eat some cookies and don’t talk for three days, until Lalli finally gives me a quick peck on the cheek while no one’s looking._

“And when will that happen?” he asked.

“The day after tomorrow.” Was the answer.

“And what am I going to do today?” Emil asked on. He had actually stopped resisting. The faster he obliged their weird traditions, the faster everything would be over.

“You will be with the cooks today – but first, Onni will help you pick out a morning gift!” Aunt Ranghild said. Emil didn’t care enough to ask what that was and why it was necessary or even if he _please_ could go with anybody else in this town than Onni. Frankly, he was tired of all of it. He recognized how harder all of this was when he was actually still angry at Lalli for failing to tell him. And for failing to propose to him… or maybe at least ask? Maybe at least somehow include him in the decision they were tying their lives together permanently? Yesterday, Emil didn’t even really know they were in a real relationship, let alone fiancés. 

Emil stared over at Onni, who looked up from his breakfast and stared back. Emil decided to be the bigger guy and look away first.

Later, Emil sat on a chair in the living-room, looking and feeling forlorn. Being angry at Lalli made him feel disconnected from this place and all these people who he had tried to get along with so hard for the last days.

_But why did Lalli fail to communicate to me that we are going to get married? Why couldn’t he just whip out the dictionary and press his finger on the translation?_

The thought that Lalli would try to lure him into something like this without his consent confused Emil to no end and made him unsure.

_What kind of relationship are we even? We don’t even speak each other’s language. I know that I find him fascinating and pretty and that I really want to spend my time with him and protect him… but how do I know I love him? And how do I know he loves me?_

Then, another terrible thought struck Emil: _How am I going to tell my parents that I married some Finnish guy I have only known for a few months?_

When Onni stood in the hallway and made a gesture to Emil so he would follow him, Emil did so without another word. Onni wasn’t trying to assault him, that was something. Also, whatever they would be doing now would probably go in silence, because they couldn’t talk.

But Emil was wrong. When he and Onni stomped through the fresh snowfall, a woman maybe a few years older than him waited for them at the corner of the street. She extended a hand to Emil. “Hi, I’m Monya, I am the towns’ official interpreter. I would have seen you earlier, but I only returned from a trip to Sweden yesterday evening.”

“Uh, nice to meet you.” Emil answered, and they shook hands.

“Congratulations on your engagement!” Monya said. “I know stuff is quite different here from everything you might be used to, but don’t take it too heavily.”

“I’m trying to.” Emil replied with a weary smile. “Yeah, uh, I actually have a question about that. How do they usually do the proposing thing here?”

Monya made a face. “Oh, they do it very tradionally here. The couple in question is often not even really asked – even though it’s normal they already live together and have been in a relationship for a while – but their parents are. They probably send yours a letter? Did you learn it like that?"

“Um. Yeah, something like that.” Emil murmured. New questions arose in his mind.

Onni said something to Monya in Finnish, and she nodded.

“Onni says he would like to get on. He asked me to translate between the two of you while you are buying the morning gift for Lalli.” She smiled at him. Onni started to resume his walk and Monya and Emil fell in beside him.

Onni started to talk, but instead of waiting until he had finished his sentence, Monya only awaited a few words and started talking and translating simultaneously.  _I suppose that’s what you get when you are working with a professional,_ Emil thought.

Monya said: “In case no one has informed you yet, and since this is probably the most poorly planned wedding this town has ever seen, after the ceremony and the night that follows it, you and Lalli will exchange morning gifts. It’s a very old tradition. Normally, your parents would pay for it, just like they would help paying for everything else, but since they seem to be out of reach, the town leaders agreed to help you out. They must really bloody like you, especially for a Swede.” Monya didn’t look very happy when she spoke the last words, only shortly after Onni had finished talking.

“Um.” Emil said, overwhelmed. “Okay. Thanks, I guess. If anyone had told me-“ he stuttered briefly when Monya started talking Finnish, she was translating back for Onni already.

“- if anyone had told me that I need to buy stuff here, I would have brought money.” Emil said, while actually being aware that even if his parents had gotten the letter in time, there wouldn’t have been much money to spare.

They were walking through the town’s main street, where a few shops were scattered amongst the other buildings. Most of them didn’t have big windows like the shops in Mora had, but smaller windows that gave you a peek into the shop itself.

“What kind of gift am I supposed to get?” Emil asked. _What do you get for someone you just married without actually consenting to it?_

Onni’s answer, coming from Monya, was: “Most people get jewellery. I don’t know if Lalli would like that.”

Emil shook his head in thought. “No, he probably wouldn’t.” He never before had thought about treating Lalli with something as useless as jewellery or luxury presents. It felt silly, thinking back about the time when the most precious material thing they could have given each other was food and an extra blanket. When Emil’s gifts for Lalli had been an arm around his shoulder and a hand in his hair.

What could he give to Lalli that he would actually like and use?

Emil thought of Lalli. Thought of everything he knew about his … fiancé. The calmness, the strength and the mysteriousness he embodied, that strange and risky beauty he had about him, because you could never be completely sure what was going on inside of him.

“A knife.” Emil said. He knew that the traditional Finnish knives, puukko, were considered very valuable in Lalli’s culture. And it was useful, and giving a knife to someone seemed like a gesture Emil could stand behind.

Onni gave Emil a surprised look when he said that, but nodded then. He turned around on his heel and they walked for a while until the houses stood farther apart, where the blacksmiths of the town had their workshop.

Onni walked up to one of the guys there and talked to him, while Emil and Monya stood aside. Onni and the blacksmith shared a laugh, then the guy went back to his work.

Onni barely hid his grin when he said something and Monya translated: “The blacksmith said it’s impossible – forging the steel and getting everything ready would take at least a week, it will never be ready in time.”

“But…” Emil sighed. He looked at the blacksmith in his workshop and felt helpless anger rising in his chest. “This can’t be! Don’t they get that this is an emergency? This is the most poorly planned wedding this town has ever seen after all, I need all the help I can get!” Monya was already half-finished translating this back to Onni.

Onni said something and Monya replied to Emil on his behalf: “But the blacksmith is not the only one involved-“  she seemed to stumble and made a short pause, before she went on: “Someone needs to make the sheath and carve the handle, this is enough work to busy three men for at least two days. It just doesn’t work… get over it.”

“No.” Emil said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I won’t.” Monya furrowed her brows and translated. Onni laughed and gave a reply.

“What do you want to do? Stand here until you freeze to the ground?” Monya said, clearly not comfortable with having to translate a conversation like this.

 _She is probably used to people acting like grown adults_ , Emil thought.

“I will stand here until this guy agrees to help me to make a knife as a gift for Lalli. Look, Onni, I still don’t exactly know why you hate me so much, but – this isn’t easy for me, either. I am supposed to marry a guy I didn’t even know I was in a relationship with tomorrow. And while I swear that I hold Lalli very dear, I can’t even know for certain that I _love_ him, or that this is a bond that’s meant to be forever. I am just rolling with it, while no one here speaks my language and I can’t even resolve a conflict with my fiancé on my own. Please help me make this a little less terrible.”

When Monya had finished translating, there was a moment of silence. Finally, Onni said something.

“What will you do if it doesn’t get finished in time? Because it won’t.” Monya translated.

Emil shrugged. “Then that’s one of the many hurdles I have to take whilst going through with this. Also, Lalli doesn’t seem like the most spoiled person to me, I think he can face having to wait for his present a few days longer.”

 _Also_ , Emil thought to himself, _this morning presents thing awfully sounds like the new husband used to give his newly-wed wife a present for letting him fuck her the night before and to excuse what – the bad performance? The pain, the shock that she married such a jerk? Whatever it was for, if I am going to get my wedding night with Lalli, there will be nothing to excuse myself for after._

When Onni heard the translation, he gave the smallest of smiles, then nodded and talked to the blacksmith again. Emil slowly stepped closer, so Monya did, too.

The blacksmith said something and shook Emil’s hand.

“His name is Jere; he says nice to meet you.” Monya said behind him. Emil nodded.

“Emil, nice to meet you, too. Thanks for helping me.” He said, and Monya translated back.

The blacksmith started speaking, and he seemed to be counting something on his fingers, looking at Emil, like giving him instructions.

“The forging of the blade alone will take me at least a day. You, on the other hand, have to inform the pelt monger to make a sheat for the puukko, and the carpenter to made the handle. Also, I need to know a few things about the blade.”

“Got it.” Emil nodded. The task ahead of him filled him with fresh energy. No matter how all of this would go on, he would try his best.

“I need to know how long the blade is supposed to be, and any special features.” Monya translated the words of the blacksmith.

Emil thought about the puukko he had seen Lalli carry and stretched out his hand. He thought about Lalli’s delicate, long fingers.

“About this long?” he showed with his hands. “And I would say it should be kind of thin, like this.” He made more gestures, holding them longer so Monya had time to match his words with his movements.

“And would you like something to be carved in there?” was the final question.

Emil thought about it. Hard. Would Lalli want his knife to say something like “Forever yours, Emil”? “Forever in love”? “Emil & Lalli”?

He slowly shook his head. “No, nothing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh right, I almost forgot that I am actually shitting on a Finnish tradition here: The morning gift.   
> Please, you lovely Finns (and everyone else whose culture has this tradition), don't be too offended. I must admit when I read up on it, it got me wondering, but... I really don't mean it as bad as Emil makes it sound here! He's just pissed, you know.


	8. Chapter 8

The next hour was spend stressfully by running around the small settling and talking to various craftsmen and -women who all one by one had to agree to help and then talk through various details with Emil. When they finally had finished talking to the town’s carpenter – much to Emil’s surprise, not the two weird guys who made him built the sledge, but a very friendly woman in her forties – Emil and Onni were walking back to Ranghild’s and Alvar’s home. Monya had to go, she had other duties to attend to, and Emil was kind of sad about it. He liked to have someone neutral around who just professionally translated what everyone was saying. It made him feel less of an outsider, even it was still odd to hear these people talking, and then only find out the meaning a moment later from Monya’s mouth.

Ranghild opened the door before they had the chance to open it themselves. “Oh, thank the gods, you’re back!” She waved them in quickly.

“The tailor is here! I completely forgot about the appointment.” She pushed Emil through the hallway and into the living-room. A guy in a simple white tunic and with black pants, and a jacket from fur stood there. He nodded at Emil with a court smile.

“Tailor?” Emil asked.

“Yes, your gowns! Oh heavens, everything is going so fast. He has to change something he already made to look good next to Lalli’s mage gown...” Ranghild said and pushed Emil into the middle of the room.

“Now take off your shirt so he can take measurements.” Emil gulped. He didn’t want to be half-naked in front of Ranghild and this guy, and who knows who else might come lurking around the corner.

But there didn’t seem to be any choice for him, so Emil took off his coat, the jacket he was wearing underneath and his shirt and stood still while the tailor started to take measurements from his head to his toes, making notes on a small piece of paper now and then. He was talking while doing his work, and Aunt Ranghild sometimes threw something in in Finnish. Emil felt left out again.

“Where is Lalli?” he asked.

“He is still at his own tailor appointment. Since he is a mage, his gown will be much more difficult to get finished in time…” Ranghild said.

“What kind of clothing will we be wearing?” Emil asked. _And why don’t I get a say in what I want to wear?_

Ranghild made a strained face while trying to find the right words. “Lalli will wear something that is traditionally worn my mages. I am not sure about you, actually. Probably something traditionally Finnish. Usually the traditional gowns are blue and red and there is a hat.”

Emil swallowed and forced himself to take a breath. So we was going to look like an idiot.

“Can’t I just go in my military uniform?” he asked, realizing in the same moment that he didn’t bring it to Finland. Ranghild looked at him unapprovingly, anyway. “That would be kind of disrespectful against the town, since we are helping the two of you so much. The least you can do is comply with our traditions.” She didn’t sound very harsh, but here voice was tight.

Emil pressed his lips together and stopped talking. Comply to traditions for a wedding he didn’t ask for, sure.

Soon, the tailor was done and Emil was allowed to put on his shirt again. When he had re-dressed, Aunt Ranghild called her daughters from downstairs and said something to them in Finnish, and they nodded and started gathering their jackets and boots.

“The girls will take you to the cooking house now, so you can prepare Lalli’s dinner.” Aunt Ranghild said. Emil nodded gravely and started getting ready, too.

On their way, Emil had an almost identical looking girl on each side, who seemed to be very proud that they could walk the streets with him. The town’s people seemed to look different at Emil now – they waved and smiled at the trio, and at some point, an elderly man came over, whom the girls hugged and who shook Emil’s hand and seemed to congratulate him. Luckily, he was happy with Emil saying “Kiitos” a few times and let them walk on.

Emil thought it was time for some family bonding. “Uhhh.” He said and the girls looked at him. “What are your names?” he asked. They kept looking at him, half-shrugging because they didn’t know Swedish.

“I am Emil.” Emil said slowly and pointed to himself. “You?” he pointed to the girls.

“Oh!” one said. She was the one two his right. Both had the same white-blonde-greyish hair the whole family had. She wore it in a ponytail on her back. “Lilia.” She said, appointing at herself.

Her sister tipped his arm, pointing at herself and said: “Ileana.” She wore her hair braided into two smaller tails that fell on her chest.

Emil nodded and smiled at them. They reached the cooking house and two girls opened the heavy wooden door, and a wall of steam hit Emil’s face. The cooking house was basically a huge room with lots of heaters and long tables where lots of people were already working. Lilia and Ileana lead him through the room, casually waving at people or saying hello to them, until they stopped in front of a man. He was very old, smaller than Emil, and his eyes were squinted together so hard that they appeared closed.

Lilia – at least Emil thought it was Lilia, they might have switched sides by now and he had already forgotten to keep their hair styles in mind – said something and the old man nodded and looked Emil up and down. Lilia and Ileana seemed a little shy around the man. _So he must be important_ , Emil thought. One again, he regretted Monya’s absence.

The next few hours were almost as bad as the sledge building afternoon had been: Emil had to skin and prepare the leg of something that had once been a reindeer, which was a bloody mess, quite literally, and left Emil seriously considering vegetarianism as an option.

Next up was stripping his boots and socks off his feet and stomping around in a huge tub filled with berries – that was how the sweet berry juice he had drunken yesterday evening was made, Emil realized.

The meat needed to be sliced and cooked, and Emil had to do everything by himself and with little help or advise. The fact that the old man was staring at him most of the time didn’t help at all.

As a last act, Emil had to cook make soup from vegetables, which luckily just meant a lot of cutting and slicing and tasting if the soup tasted like anything yet. The last thing he had to do was cutting an apple and arranging it on a table, probably there wasn’t enough time for a real desert anymore.

So when it was time for dinner, Emil himself was hungry and completely exhausted. The procedure was the same with him: The other cooks left with the normal dinner for everybody else, Emil followed after with a tablet in his hand: Reindeer steak, vegetable soup and berry juice.

The long dinner tables where again filled with eating town’s people, chatting happily. _Probably discussing the big wedding that was coming up…_ , Emil thought. He carried his tablet to the last row, where he knew Lalli and his family would be sitting. Tuuri waved at him from a distance, helping him find them.

There he was. Lalli sat on the bench between Onni and Tuuri, clad in his thick fur jacket, and didn’t even look over his shoulder. Emil swallowed hard and carried the tablet over to them the last few metres, then carefully set it on the table between Tuuri and Lalli. Lalli murmured something, but didn’t even look at him. Emil stepped backwards. And now? He observed Tuuri intensely watching her cousin. Judging by the movements his arms made, Lalli had started eating.

Emil couldn’t see his features from here, he couldn’t see if he liked any of the food. Since no one even looked at him or took any notice of him, Emil felt like he had no choice but to keep standing there and fidget with his hands.

Finally, Lalli said something. The table he was sitting on went noticeably quiet. Emil’s heart was throbbing by now. Then, whispers. One, two, five, twenty voices passing on something, and Emil felt like someone had just tied him up and thrown him into the sea, he could barely breathe anymore.

_What did he say?_

Tuuri looked over her shoulder to Emil and looked away quickly when she realized he was looking, too.

_What did he say?!_

Emil stepped over to Tuuri and grabbed her shoulder.

“Tuuri! What did he say?!” he shouted. Tuuri turned around. “Everything is fine!” she said, but she didn’t mean it. Her voice was shaking.

“Alvar!” Emil tried Lalli’s distant uncle. “What’s wrong? Didn’t he like the food?”

Alvar turned around to him and got up. “Emil, I think it’s better if I get you home.” He stood up and let Emil away, who was too confused to protest.

“What happened? What is wrong?” he just kept asking, close to tears now.

“Lalli said…” he sighed. “Lalli said that the food is disgusting and that he can’t marry a man who cooks like that.”

“WHAT?!”

“To be fair, I don’t think the food is the actual problem. Did you fight?” Alvar asked.

“Well… last night, when I found out about the whole marriage thing. I shouted at him.” Emil admitted.

Alvar nodded. “He probably decided you shouldn’t marry after all.” He sighed gravely. “We will discuss this when he comes back from dinner.” They walked the rest of the way in silence – but when they were there, Lalli was already standing on the doorstep. But he wasn’t alone: Monya was there.

“Lalli…” Emil whispered.

Lalli started walking towards Emil. When he was up close, he simply grabbed Emil’s sleeve and pulled him along into the other direction. Monya followed close behind. Alvar stayed exactly where he was, just staring.

Without any words, they all knew that Monya was going to translate every word they spoke, so Emil just started using that chance.

“Lalli… I don’t get it. Do you really don’t want to marry me anymore?” he said, Monya already translating. Lalli shook his head and said something, he sounded pained.

“I thought it was for the better. Since everything went … like that.” Monya said for Lalli.

“But after all this bullshit I went through…!” Emil protested. “The thought of actually being together with you after all of this was the only positive thing! Lalli.” He said loud and clear, and grabbed Lalli’s arm, so they stopped walking and just looked at each other.

“Everything was already complicated before we came here, and now, with no one speaking my language and a wedding coming up, everything is even more complicated. But I want to be together with you! Personally, don’t care if a marriage certificate ensures me that we are together, but if it’s so important to you, I will do it! Gladly, even! And under one condition: Please, learn Swedish. No offense to Monya, she’s great, but I want to be able to talk to you. So that this kind of stuff won’t happen again.”

Emil waited until Monya had translated what he had said. Lalli nodded when he heard everything and swallowed, he seemed to be just as emotional about this as Emil was. Then, he spoke.

“Yes… I, I can’t promise I’m very good at it, but I will.” Monya said for Lalli. “Also, I… I don’t even care that much about it. But, uh, it’s kind of hard to explain. Mages have to submit themselves to some very specific rules, and one of them is that...” Lalli seemed to have stuttered at that point, because Monya did pause, too. “The rule is that you have to marry the first lover you see in your dream haven. You know, the dreams are a real place, not just mixed up stories that make no sense, but if a mage is…” another stumbling pause “very much in love with someone, their dream haven can get mixed up with their wishes, and they might see the person in question in their haven. I saw you twice – the first time in my personal space. I wouldn’t have told anyone, because I don’t like the rule and it’s very old and kind of traditional. It makes most people marry the first lover they ever have and split up with them a few months later. But then, the second time – after our first kiss – I saw you in my dream haven again, and this time, even Onni could see you, and he kind of flipped and made me promise to marry you as soon as possible.”

That was a lot to take in, so after Monya was finished with her translation of what Lalli just had said, he let a moment pass to go through all of it again.

“So you and Onni saw me in your dream haven, even though I can’t have been there… and that means we need to marry by some old mage law?” he asked. Monya translated. Lalli nodded.

Emil sighed. “Okay... But you go tell them that my food is actually great.” When Monya had translated this, the ghost of a smile played around Lalli’s lips.

“It was okay.” Monya translated Lalli’s answer.

“Hey!” Emil said, playing offended. A sound they understood without a translator. Lalli grinned a little bit more. Emil would have liked to kiss him, but it seemed like a weird thing to do with Monya around, so he just took Lalli’s hand and squeezed it.

“Let’s go home.” he said and gently pulled Lalli with him. Monya didn’t immediately follow, so Emil turned around to see what was up with her.

Monya said something in Finnish and Emil could see Lalli give a brief nod as an answer.

Then she said: “I think you’ll be fine without me now. I’ll just go, okay?” and with a smile and wave, she left them, stomping through the thick snow into the other direction.

When she was out of sight, Emil looked at Lalli again. He felt so much better now. He felt like they were able to take this on, after all. He gently pulled on Lalli’s hand so the other boy would look at him, and when Lalli stood, he leaned in for a kiss. It turned out to be a soft one, tender and still full of relief after the trouble they had just overcome together.

Emil was excited to come home with Lalli. He hoped they could just straight up disappear in their bedroom and do some more kissing… but that wasn’t going to happen.

They were hold up – not only by Lalli’s relatives, but also by about a dozen more town’s people who had all gathered in the living-room of Alvar and Ranghild.

Emil stared at everyone in disbelief, and he could feel Lalli’s hand tugging at his own. This was too much for Lalli, he knew. He wasn’t prepared to face a room full of people asking him things.

“Emil!” Tuuri squeezed herself past some people and stood in front of them. “They all really want to know what’s up and if you are still going to marry tomorrow!” She looked behind herself. “Some of them seem to be really upset.”

Lalli said something in Finnish and Tuuri answered – Lalli pulled on Emil’s hand harder, giving him a pleading look. Emil sighed. “Um. I’ll settle this. Tuuri, please tell Lalli he can just go upstairs. I’ll take care of this…” Emil was not sure why he was promising this and if he could even fulfil this task, but he didn’t want Lalli to suffer through this.

Tuuri did as he had asked, translating his words to Lalli. Lalli nodded and gave Emil’s hand a last squeeze, then he went upstairs in fast, swift steps. Emil’s eyes only left the stairs when Lalli had disappeared on first floor.

Then, he turned to face the raging crowd in the living-room, Tuuri right next to him. People now approached them and asked questions, but they were mostly directed at Tuuri, because it was obviously no use asking Emil. Emil saw that in the far corner of the living room, Ranghild had been driven into a corner by some old woman who was talking at her harshly. It was the creepy old grandma from the boat, Emil realized.

Tuuri in the meantime was approached by more and more people, and while she didn’t have the same problem handling people Lalli had, she wasn’t amused by it either. Her face grew redder and redder, and when some man tried to grab her arm so she would listen to him, she suddenly screamed something in Finnish. Emil gave a shriek in surprise. Everyone in the room suddenly listened to her as she yelled a few sentence on the top of her lungs, and then there was movement.

Everyone seemed to step back a little, some finally sat down on the sofa. Three people even left the house entirely. _Is she actually capable of magic, too?_ Emil wondered.

Tuuri cleared her throat and said: “I told them they should shut up, calm down and ask their questions one by one, and that I would immediately stop translating them to you if they freak out again. I might have used some bad words in the process, just to get the message across.”

“Thank you…” Emil said, very relived. Together, they stood on one side of the living-room, facing a dozen of Finns together like they stood on the edge of a battlefield. Tuuri’s presence next to him made Emil feel better.

_She might not be as professional a translator as Monya, but she is my friend._

Tuuri announced something with her loud voice again, and what seemed to be the first question came back. Tuuri translated: “They want to know if you and Lalli are still going to marry.”

Emil took a breath and nodded a few times. “Yes, we will definitely marry.”

For some reason, that answer seemed to relieve the town’s people immensely.

 _I have to find the time to ask why that’s so damn important to them,_ Emil thought.

Another question, translated by Tuuri: “They want to know why Lalli said that your food was terrible. They worry that might have been a bad omen or something.”

“Oh, yeah.” Emil said. “Lalli was actually supposed to set this one right, but, well. Lalli said he thought I don’t want to marry him anymore and that he thought he could make cancelling the whole thing easier by just claiming my food tastes horrible and he can’t marry me because of that.”

It took Tuuri a while to get that message across to the town’s people. Emil wondered if the story sounded credible to others. Not like he cared awfully much.

“They want to know where you will live after you married.” Tuuri said. She already sounded annoyed.

“Certainly not here.” Emil blurted out. “Don’t tell them that!” he shouted immediately after. “Um, we don’t know yet. But not here, that is for sure. Tell them about my job with the Swedish military or something, tell them I can’t live here.”

Tuuri sighed, nodded and translated his answer first, then seemed to get pulled into a discussion because several town’s people seemed to object to the given answer. In the end, Tuuri ended it with a harsh comment and waited until another question was posed. Emil wondered if this was ever going to end.

It did, eventually, but only after at least an hour and even then, Tuuri just announced that she had enough and that they should piss off – at least that’s what Emil thought it sounded like. She probably didn’t say it like that, though.

When everyone shuffled out, more or less content with how the evening went, Emil thought that this was the best moment of his life. He leaned against the wall behind himself and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, the creepy old grandma stood right in front of him, grinning.

Before Emil had time to wonder if there was going to be a knife in his bowels any second now, she repeated her signature move: This time, she had to pull him down by his arm quite forcefully to reach his ear, whispering “Oooolet… kaaaauniiiis…” in his ear once again. Then, she was gone as quickly as she had appeared.

Emil looked over to Tuuri, who was still standing next to him, looking as exhausted as he felt.

“Tuuri?”

“Hm?”

“What does _olet kaunis_ mean?”

“Uh… It means _You’re pretty_. Why?”

“Because that’s what this weird old woman keeps whispering in my ear ever since we were on a boat with her.”

“Um. That’s odd. I never saw her do it.” Tuuri answered.

“Maybe I am imaging old women paying me compliments.” Emil said, slumping against the wall even more. “I think I will go upstairs and see how Lalli is doing. Thank you for helping me tonight.”

The room was almost cleared of people now, just two town’s people had remained to chat with Alvar and Ranghild. They didn’t seem much interested in Emil or Tuuri anymore. Emil was just about to leave, Tuuri spoke again: “I’m really happy for the two of you, Emil.” Emil stopped and looked at her.

Tuuri gave him a sad smile. “In all this chaos and weirdness, I never said that, did I? But I really am. I think you can make Lalli happy, and that is more than I have ever hoped for him, to be honest.”

They looked at each other with unsure smiles. “I am sure you will do great tomorrow.” She said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm, it seems like things are finally going a bit better for them. Also, I am desperately trying to breathe some life into the way I write Lalli. I started this fanfic when I had been in the fandom for like a week, and now I am starting to see all its flaws. The flaws of the fic, I mean.
> 
> None of you ever payed much attention to her, but I will explain the mystery of the olet kaunis woman anyway: A friend of mine has an older brother, and at his work place, there is an old, weird woman. And several times a day, she comes up to him and whispers into his ear: "You are beautiful..." ("Du bist bildhübsch!" in German, if we want to be exact. It would literally translate to "you are as pretty as a picture", which is an idiom in German). And because I found this so creepy and funny, I needed to work that into the story.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Emil woke up and simply felt paralysed.

_Tomorrow._ If the thought scared him now, how was he supposed to feel when the time had arrived?

The thought filled him with fear, but… Emil turned his head to look at Lalli, still peacefully asleep in his arms, his forehead pressed against Emil’s shoulder, his lips parted just the tiniest bit.

_He is so beautiful, and still there are so many things I don’t understand about him. But I want to._

_…maybe that’s all it needs. I want to._

Emil tried to rise and get out of the bed carefully, but he was not a scout and about as stealthy as a steamboat, so Emil hadn’t fully shoved his feet onto the ground at the end of the bed when Lalli opened his eyes and looked at him through half-open eyes.

“You know what’s odd?” Emil asked. Lalli wouldn’t understand him, but had that ever mattered?

“All of this is supposed to be about us, but I have seen less of you the last days than we started the expedition.” Lalli looked at him, still not fully awake and his hair fuzzy, his face mostly expressionless. He was probably waiting for any kind of explanation. Emil sighed and got up.

_There is a long way to go._

He went to his suitcase and rummaged around until he found the dictionary they had been making do with for such a long time. He took a pen and a piece of paper from the bedside table and started searching for all the words he needed, one by one. Somehow, he felt like translating this was too important to give up.

_If I can’t make a sentence like this understandable to him, how are we supposed to hold any kind of conversation? How am I supposed to get to know you, Lalli?_

His fingers flicked through the pages of the dictionary, by now familiar how to get to the words the quickest.

He wrote his findings down, because the sentence would too long for him to remember in Finnish by the time he was finished looking for all the words: “Since - _sittä astii kun_ – we – _me -_ came – _tuli_ – here – _tässä,_ I – _minä…”_ Now it got tricky. Emil was also already sure that “we came” probably had to be put together different than just stick the words for “we” and “came” behind each other, but he couldn’t do anything about it. Then he felt a weigh on his shoulders – Lalli kneeled behind him on the bed and wrapped his arms around his neck from behind, watching over his shoulder, his mouth close to Emil’s ear. Emil concentrated on searching and writing again.

“I – _minä_ –“  okay, what to write for “have not”? The structure was probably entirely different in Finnish. Emil decided to go with the easiest way he knew.

“I - _Minä_ – not – _ei_ – see – _nähda_ – you – _sinä._ ” He looked to the side to see Lalli’s face, who was watching his scribbling intently. Emil started his next sentence.

“But – _mutta_ – this – _tämä_ – marriage – _avioliitto_ – is _– on –_ about – _noin_ – us – _meille._ ” Emil coughed and finally tried to say all of the words he had gotten together in one stumbling sentence where he probably messed up all the pronunciation.

“S-sittä astii kun me tuli tässä mina ei nähda sinä. Mutta tämä avioliitto on noin meille.“ He felt like he was mumbling complete garbage, and since Lalli was still kneeling behind him and looking over his shoulder, he couldn’t even see his face and try to find any hint in there how the sentence had come along.

When he had finished talking, Lalli let go of him and sat beside on the edge of the bed. He smiled at gentle smile at Emil and took the pen and paper from his hand, nodding slightly to indicate that he had understood.

Now it was his turn putting together words, but his fingers were quicker, he was used to this even more than Emil was. He was the one who would have to adjust to a new language for their future communication after all.

“ _Det kommer snart.”_ Lalli put together: It will be soon. Emil smiled and nodded, and wrapped his arm around Lalli’s waist to press her bodies together for a moment. He leaned over to Lalli and placed a kiss on his cheek. Lalli in turn searched for Emil hand and took it. They sat like that for a minute or two, until Aunt Ranghild knocked and Emil stood up.

“Come in.” he said, suddenly all nervous again. She did come in and Emil met her at the door.

“Good morning!” Aunt Ranghild said, and she looked happy, but very stressed already. Wasn’t it like, just 8am in the morning or something?

“Emil, Lalli –“ she peered around him to see if Lalli was in the room, too – “you should have a quick breakfast, and then we have to get on!”

They ended up sitting on the breakfast table with only Tuuri to keep them company. Ranghild and Alvar were already busy, running around the house, doing… stuff? Emil wasn’t sure what had to be prepared at this hour.

“What are they even doing?” Emil asked Tuuri while scraping up some of the porridge they regularly had for breakfast here, carefully avoiding the chunk of butter they always squashed on its side.

Tuuri shrugged. “I am not so sure, actually…” When they were just about to wrap up breakfast, Alvar came over to their table and sat down.

“Okay, Emil, listen. There is a bunch of stuff that has to be done today: You need to check on how your morning gift is coming along, the blacksmith said. Then, there is another tailor’s appointment for both of you. Also, you and Lalli need to decide what kind of food is supposed to be served. And the decoration…” He counted all these things on his fingers, like he was not even sure if that was all.

“Tonight, there will be a stag night party for you in the town hall.” Emil crunched up his nose.

_Stag night? Right, people do these things._

Back home in Sweden, when one of the others of the cleanser team got married, it involved a lot of drinking and more often than not, dancing half-naked women. It wasn’t like Emil was completely uninterested in naked women, just the thought of looking at them together with Lalli made him uneasy.

Alvar was talking to Lalli, seemingly telling him what to do, too. Suddenly, there was a knocking on the door. One of the girls, Emil thought it was Ileana, opened the door, and started talking to another girl.

“Oh, it’s Karin!” Tuuri jumped up from her chair and went to the door as well to greet the girl. Emil watched them from his chair: Karin seemed to have brought a small present, wrapped into a piece of cloth, and the three girls fussed over it when it was uncovered.

“Emil, come here and say thank you!” Tuuri said. Emil strolled over to the door. The girl named Karin, whom he couldn’t properly see before, looked like a mage, clad in a tunic and lots of fur. She was probably a bit older than him.

“Why am I supposed to say thank you?” Emil asked. Nobody but Tuuri understood him anyway, so what was the point in being overly polite if he just smiled.

“She brought you your first amulet!” Tuuri said, showing him the thing wrapped in cloth: it was a silver brooch, with lots of tiny ornaments carved into the metal.

“Um. Kiitos?” Emil said, which was apparently enough to please Karin, the probably-mage.

“You are going to wear them on your gown tomorrow!” Tuuri explained.

“Oooooh.” Emil made a sound. “You could have told me that earlier. Um, kiitos again, Karin, am I right?” The girl nodded, then said something to Tuuri and waved a goodbye, before turning her back on the house.

“How nice of her to bring it!” Tuuri said, still holding the brooch. “There will be a lot more of them coming over today!”

“Are they all going to bring jewellery? Why is the whole town giving us presents before the wedding has even started?”

“Oh, they aren’t presents!” Tuuri said, shaking her head. “They are just borrowed. In every family, the girls are gifted a brooch when they are born. Some of those have been passed on between the generations for a very long time! And when a girl and a boy – or two boys, or two girls, whatever – marry in town, everyone lends them their brooches, so they can wear a lot of them on their gown! And Lalli is wearing the traditional mage cloak, so he probably can’t be wearing them, so you get to! I first got mine from my grandmother, since I was her only female grandchild, but now I got my mother’s as well…” She looked sad for a moment, then gently put her arm on Emil’s. “It would be very nice if you wore them, too.”

Emil nodded several times. “I will, of course! It would be an honour.” He said, and his heart was warmed by the smile Tuuri gave him.

“I’ll get it right away!” she said, making her way to upstairs. Suddenly, there were hands on his waist, then slinging around his midst and came to rest on his stomach, along with the weight of a thin scout o and a familiar warmth on his back. A kiss on his ear.

“I find mine.” Lalli said. “Hm? What do you mean?” Emil asked without moving. A hand retreated from his stomach and came back, holding two brooches in his hands. One was obviously very old, almost as big as Lalli’s hand and not as shiny anymore. Flowers and birds were carved in tiny pictures into the metal. “Mothers.” Lalli said, using his index finger of the other hand to point on it.

The second one was smaller, but newer, the silver gleamed shinier and there was a bear and a fox carved into it, along with some decorative symbols that reminded Emil of something.

“Fathers.” Lalli said.

“Why does your father have one, too?” Emil asked, since he had just learned that the brooches were usually passed on along the females of a family. They loosened their embrace so Emil could turn around and they could look at each other. Lalli seemed to have understood enough of the words to guess the question, since asking it was also rather obvious. He shrugged.

“Grandmother make them for father and brother.” Lalli said. Emil wondered if Lalli had actually used some time practicing Swedish the last days. He nodded to indicate he understood, but then…

“Wait. Brother? You don’t have a brother.” Emil said.

Lalli brought his hand to his head and shook it briefly, seemingly annoyed about Emil.

“Not _my_ brother. _Father’s_ brother. Tuuri’s father and Onni’s father.” He explained, putting stress on almost every word.

“Ooooh.” Emil made and immediately decided that making that sound made him look even more stupid. Lalli took Emil’s hand and gently but firmly placed the brooch from his father into it, giving Emil a meaningful look. Emil nodded, and understood.

“I will wear it, too.” he said, lifting the brooch to his chest and mimicking pinning it on his clothes. Lalli nodded. In the next second, Tuuri bolted down the stairs again and joined them.

“Hey.” she said. In her hand, she had a brooch as well, extending it to Emil, who had to quickly place the one given to him by Karin and the one from Lalli on the kitchen table, the cloth Karin brought with it underneath them, before he could accept Tuuri’s.

“Thank you, Tuuri.” He said, clutching the brooch gently in his hand.

“Oh, Lalli gave you one as well? Neat! You know, our grandmother had made two when her sons, our father Juha and Lalli’s father, Jukka, were born. I think it was supposed to be progressive or something? Onni got the one from our father, since I already got my mother’s and my grandmother’s.”

Emil realized he didn’t even know the name of Lalli’s father up until now. It felt odd, as if you were supposed to know such things about your fiancé. He nodded and turned to look at Lalli, who met his gaze with a questioning raise of his eyebrows. Emil smiled at his fiancé, but he failed to look truly happy. _What other important things do I not know about him? I thought a winter would be more than enough to learn everything. I was wrong._

There was a knock on the door again and when Tuuri opened, it was the tailor greeting her. They exchanged a few words, and seemingly it was Lalli’s turn to be fitted with his wedding gown. The last time he came, the tailor didn’t have anything with him except for paper, a pen and a measuring tape, but this time, he was carrying two huge white, flat sacks.

The tailor was lead into another room upstairs by Lalli, who gave Emil a last look before disappearing upstairs. Emil found that he couldn’t decipher what it meant, and that thought filled him with dread again.

“Hey, since Lalli is busy with the tailor, you could go and check on your gift!” Tuuri suggested. “Want me to come with you and translate?” she offered.

“That would be great, thanks.” Emil mumbled. The two of them gathered their clothes, put on boots and jackets and stepped outside.

“What’s the matter, Emil? You seem worried.” Tuuri said when they fell into step next to each other, Emil slowing down his usual pace a little so she could keep up with him.

Emil didn’t consider denying it for a second. If there was someone he could pour his heart out to, it was her. “I feel like I don’t even know the man I am going to marry tomorrow.” he said.

“I thought I knew Lalli, but ever since all of this happened, I just realized how much I don’t know about him. And I feel like the language barrier is driving us further apart every day – you know, in the beginning, simple words and affection was enough, but how can I deeply get to know and love him if I can’t properly talk to him?”

Tuuri listened to all of this quietly. Then, after a pause, she said: “You know what I think what the problem is? The two of you got to know each other in kind of an extreme situation. There was always something threatening your life, when Lalli left for scouting, you were never sure he would return to you in the morning. Of course everything good that happens feels much more intense then! Also, there never was much time for anything, was there? I mean, we all were constantly working, and Lalli was sleeping a lot… and now you have all this free time, and your living conditions, the things you do on a daily basis – everything is different! Of course you need to readjust, both for yourselves and as a couple.”

Emil was impressed at her sound advice. He had always known Tuuri was smart, but he never thought her an expert for social interaction.

“… thank you.” he said. “I… I think there is a lot of truth in what you just said.” He looked to her and met her gaze, and her face was full of compassion.

“Emil.” She said, and when she had sounded serious and assure before, at least all of the assurance had fled from her voice now. “Take care of Lalli for me, yes? Someday, I know he will be fine on his own. But now’s not the time.” Emil didn’t dare ask why she knew that and what she meant by all of it. He just nodded. “I will, promise.”

They met the blacksmith, who seemed to be waiting for them. He came out of his workshop, a small wooden box in his hands. He greeted Tuuri and Emil and then spoke to her. The way Tuuri’s eye lit up while he talked, Emil expected something good.

“He finished the blade, Emil” Tuuri said between two sentences she exchanged with the smith. She pointed to the box the man was carrying, and he opened it: A long, thin and shiny new blade was lying on black cloth in there. It was perfect. Emil couldn’t thank the blacksmith enough when they left with it.

“Now we should go and see the carpenter, maybe the handle is finished, too! And did you get our leatherworker to make a sheath?” Tuuri asked. Emil knew she was talking about important things, but it washed past him. Every so often, he opened the box and took another look at the blade inside. It was marvellous… Lalli would love it.

They did meet the carpenter, who was happy to take the blade so he could work on matching both parts together. They wanted to visit the leatherworker, too, but when they were just about to head there, Lalli met them. Although they had seen him approach from a few hundred metres afar, and he had been sprinting the whole way, he didn’t seem particularly out of breath. Emil was in awe, it never seized to amaze him how much endurance Lalli had.

Lalli spoke in his usual soft Finnish, but while his words were meant for Tuuri, his gaze belonged to Emil. When he had finished speaking, he closed the distance between himself and Emil and took his hands, locking their fingers together. Emil felt a rush of sudden happiness flood through him.

They started walking, Lalli gently tugging Emil along. “Lalli got us so we can visit the great town’s hall. You haven’t seen it yet, have you? We really only use it in winter and for big celebrations.” Tuuri explained before Emil had to ask.

“Why are we going there?” Emil asked, his fingers stroking the back of Lalli’s hand while they their fingers where still intertwined.

“To see how the decorations are going!” Tuuri said. “Also I hope we can meet Sölve there, the head cook. He wants you ask you about the food, I guess.”

So they approached the town’s hall, and Emil and Lalli sat through two hours of talk about decorations, flowers, colours and food. Lalli fell asleep after a while and Emil was left alone with the trouble of having to listen to Tuuri’s translations of the Finnish directed at him and make all the choices offered to them. When they left the building, he felt like he had forgotten almost everything they had talked through.

They were headed back for their house, and while Lalli went straight upstairs and to bed, Emil was taken aside by Ranghild, who was companied by an entirely unamused tailor, who apparently had waited all the time for the three of them to come back so he could fit Emil into his wedding gown.

This time, Emil stood on a chair in Tuuri’s bedroom, clad in beige pants and a white shirt, while the tailor was busy sticking needles into the pants he was wearing, and fitted him with a red striped jacket. When Emil caught a quick glance of himself in the mirror, he glaldly realized that while the outfit was still far away from what he had chosen, he wouldn’t look completely ridiculous tomorrow.

When the tailor was finally finished and Emil could re-dress, he wanted nothing more than to slip into bed next to Lalli and rest for a moment. He only made it to the bedroom door, when the doorbell rang and he could hear Alvar accept another brooch for him. Then, Alvar called: “Emil! Are you there?”

Emil sighed and went to the edge of the staircase. “Yes?”

“The boys say they will pick you up in two hours!”

Emil rummaged in his mind. “Um, why again?” he yelled back down the stairs.

“For the stag night!” Alvar answered, then talking in Finnish to the faceless visitors again.

Emil gave a deep sigh and finally made his way into the bedroom – onto to find that Lalli was gone. Disappointment rushed through him, but nevertheless, Emil collapsed on the bed he and Lalli had shared most of their time here and he cuddled into the covers. He fell asleep pretty quickly, only to be woken up by a sharp knock and the sound of the door being yanked open a while later.

When he raised his head, he stared into Onni’s face from the door.

“Come.” Onni simply said and left the doorframe.

_Oh god, what’s happening now?_

Clumsily, Emil stood up and followed Onni out of the room, briefly steadying himself on the walls to find his balance despite his post-sleep dizziness. When the passed a mirror, he started to rearrange his hair in front of it, because he realized how horrible he looked.

Onni stood by the door, clad in fur and boots already, giving him impatient looks. Tuuri appeared out of her room and saw him. “Oh hey, Emil! Did you sleep well? I saw you sleeping and just closed the door so you could get a bit of rest. Ready for the big party?” she said.

“Oh, it that where Onni wants to go with me?” Emil asked, raking his fingers through the long strands in the front. “And do you by any chance have a comb?”

“Ugh, yeah, I guess. I think every unmarried male person in the town is supposed to join! And he is the closest male family member Lalli has, so Onni doesn’t have that much of a choice.” Tuuri answered. “And um, no, I don’t have comb, sorry. But you look as fabulous as always, just get going!” she grinned and shoved him away from the mirror.

“You think I look fabulous?” Emil said, still smoothing his hair, while grabbing his boots with the other hand. Tuuri just laughed and hugged him when he was finished dressing. “Have fun!”

And then he was off with Onni into the early dark of a spring evening in Finland.

“Where is Lalli?” Emil asked. Onni looked at him and shrugged. Emil crunched his nose. He didn’t like how Lalli went missing sometimes here, like that night two days ago when they had fought.

“Will he come to the stag night?” Emil asked. Onni looked at him and shrugged again, but this time most likely because he didn’t understand Emil’s question and didn’t care enough to find out what Emil meant.

They reached the town’s hall, which was already halfway decorated with flowers and long panels of bright fabric. But instead of excited, well-dressed wedding guests, there were about thirty young people sitting on the benches, most of them already with a jug in their hand. They appeared to be drinking. On second look, Emil realized that everyone in the room was male.

_Somehow, that makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t know why. I’m into boys. I should appreciate male company._

His entrance was greeted with loud cheers and fists banging on tables. As soon as Emil had took his place amongst them, toasts in Finnish were brought out, a jug of beer was shoved in front of him and the celebration began. Two guys got up on the stage of the hall – Emil figured it was the place where he and Lalli would stand opposite each other tomorrow – and acted out some sort of improvised drama, which ended in them wildly making out and some dry humping, which seemed to be hilarious to everyone.

Emil quickly realized why the sole company of thirty boys around his age had triggered negative feelings: It just felt too much like he was in a barrack with the other cleansers again, except this time he didn’t know the language everyone around him spoke to even enjoy their dirty jokes and their rude bantering the tiniest bit.

_Am I sexist against my own gender when I wish that big groups of men could engage in intelligent things together sometimes? I probably am. I am sure there are plenty of men out there who do intelligent things when they are together! Discuss politics, read books and go to classical concerts. Just not in a rural town in Finland when there is a wedding coming up tomorrow._

Paradoxically, the only one who didn’t enjoy the whole thing either was Onni. He sat two places away from Emil the whole time, slowly nipping on a beer and eating the snacks that stood around, and only very occasionally was approached by another guy and exchanged a few words with him.

_Apparently this is neither my nor his crowd._ Emil thought. _Actually, if we had a language together, we could really bond over this._

As the evening wore on, Emil grew both bored and worried, since Lalli was still nowhere to be seen. The later it got, the more drunk the boys and young men around him became, and the louder their talk and laughter got. As Emil thought thirty people around him having fun without him couldn’t be more annoying, the door opened and Emil’s hope of Lalli coming to his rescue was quickly smashed when, accompanied by loud cheering, a few girls and new boys entered the room. They were all dressed somewhat weird – the girls were wearing long, wide skirts, but their chests were only sparsely clothed, their bellies naked, their tops showing a lot of cleavage. Emil could practically hear their boobs jiggle. The three boys that came in where topless, and wore pants that were even tighter than he ones Lalli wore for scouting. It was exactly this association that made Emil swallow hard.

The group advanced to the stage of the hall and a few of the guys who had been celebrating with them before took out instruments: Emil wondered how he couldn’t have noticed them before, since said instruments were huge blocks of wood with a lot of strings, looking a little like someone had pushed over a harp.

The guys began to play, and everyone started to sing a song that everybody seemed to know. Looking around, Emil saw that even Onni was mumbling the words. The girls and boys on stage began their dance, starting out slow, then getting faster and faster. Their dance was accompanied by the singing and frantic clapping of the town’s male youth.

Everyone started to gather in front of the stage, and Emil followed them, standing in the back row, but he was quickly pushed further ahead by the other boys when they recognized him next to themselves, they kept clapping him on the back and saying things accompanied by laughter. Emil wondered if it was a bad thing that he couldn’t understand a word.

There were three girls and three boys dancing, not in a choreography, but each in their own way. When the crowd approached them, they all came down from the stage on by one, and approached people in the crowd. One girl, who danced much more wild than the music actually was, her boobies jiggling all the time, which made her particularly interesting to the crowd, came right up to Emil and closer, closer, until their faces were only centimetres apart from each other, and all Emil could see was her pretty face, her pink lips and her revealing top. She seemed to have a lot of fun doing this, sometimes she broke the sexy face she was making to grin at the crowd. Emil tried to take half a step backwards, but there were too many people behind him, there was nowhere to flee. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was trapped. _Where is Lalli?_

The girl laughed and took his hands, swinging them and using them to steady herself when she made a turn on one foot. Emil smiled and tried to move a little with her, tried to play their game. But as soon as he did, it seemed he had given a cue, because more guys started to join the dancers. The girl that was dancing for Emil was just about to guide his hand that had been resting on her waist dangerously close to her boobs, when she was dragged aside by another one of the dancers – a boy this time.

Emil swallowed again. _I always considered myself attracted to both boys and girls. Why was her dancing at me okay? Why is this guy making me much more nervous than she did?_

The answer was hidden in plain sight: The boy was tall, taller even than Emil, thin as a stick, when he moved in slow, pointed movements in front of Emil, you could see every muscle under his skin work. His hair was so blonde it was almost white, and it was long, it fell around his face in long strands, down to his elbows. His pretty mouth, that Emil could swear had a bit of lipstick on, showed a smile that promised things Emil didn’t dare thinking about.

_This guy is Lalli in a little tipsy and quite a bit horny._

And while the girl had been holding back while doing what she did, he didn’t. He took Emil’s hands, pulled him closer so unexpectedly that Emil could do nothing but take a stumbling step forward, until he found his own hands on the other boy’s chest and the boy’s hands were on his waist. They moved together, Emil just going with the flow while his mind was racing.

_What do I do? This is fun, but what do I do? I don’t want Lalli to see me like this!_

Suddenly, the boy closed the last bit of distance that was left between their bodies and rubbed his whole frontside flush against Emil’s. Emil gasped and he didn’t like way he could immediately feel his cock react to the contact.

_I don’t want this guy to be able to make me horny!_ Emil thought, while also, at the same time, relishing what was happening. The dilemma was tearing him apart. In the next second, he found the boy’s lips on his neck, staying there for too long, he felt the lips drawing in his skin-

“Don’t!” Emil squealed, pushing the boy backwards gently, but hard enough that he gave Emil a strange look.

“I can’t have a hickey from somebody else on my wedding day!” Emil said. He sounded upset, and the boy didn’t understand him anyway, so Emil tried to at least smile while saying it and making an excusing face, pointing to the patch of skin on his neck that was still prickling from the other’s touch. The boy that looked like Lalli shrugged, turned and busied himself somewhere else, probably with someone who wasn’t afraid of carrying home a hickey.

Emil simply stood there, in the middle of the crowd, while everyone else was dancing and drinking and enjoying themselves. He needed a moment. But before he could start to make his way out of the crowd alone, a strong hand gripped his arm and pulled him along. It was Onni. He shouldered his way through the crowd, Emil traveling in his wake, until they had reached one of the far walls of the hall.

Then, Onni turned around. And for the first time ever, Emil saw Onni smile.

“Brother.” Onni simply said. The smile had quickly been replaced by a stern look, and Onni placed a hand on Emil’s shoulder. Before Emil could ask what it all meant, Onni had let go of him and taken a place on one of the benches. Emil decided to join him. He looked around the table. Alcohol or not, he needed something to drink. He poured himself a beer. He hated beer, when he was with the cleansers, it was all they ever drank in the evenings, but the Finnish beer tasted extremely different from the Swedish one.

“What the hell even was what?” Emil asked, no one in particular, since Onni didn’t understand him.

“Is this how all stag night’s go? Or just here?” Emil asked. “If that is how stag night’s go, I better stay with Lalli for all my life, because I do not wanna do this again.”

Instead of even trying a response, Onni silently slided him over a bottle with a clear liquid that was definitely not beer. Emil sighed and took a swig.

A while later, it seemed to be time for games, because Emil was dragged outside by a large flock of boys, he vaguely noticed that the dancer with the white hair, not topless anymore because it was cold outside, was among them. They walked to the outskirts of the town as a slow, loud crowd, and Emil wondered if the older town’s people didn’t mind the ruckus. Then again, this probably happened like twice a year.

They brought him to a small farm where a fence and a simple stable was built. The enclosure held a few reindeer, that were obviously not very used to being in a cage, they looked nervous and galloped to the far side of the enclosure when the group approached.

A guy walked up to Emil and handed him a piece of paper. Emil had to strain his eyes really bad in the dark to read what it said: “Milk the reindeer”, in smudged ink and with a mistake in almost every of the three words.

“Um.” Emil said. He had never seen a live reindeer before, so he didn’t exactly consider himself an expert on them, but… was that even possible?

When he didn’t move, the boys around him clapped on his back and gently pushed him to the enclosure, and eventually Emil figured that this was a similar thing to the sleigh building: He didn’t have a choice.

He ducked through the fence and stood on the frozen grass of the enclosure. Gently, and with careful steps, he approached the group of deer that was staring at him in frozen panic. Emil pitied them.

“Ssssh, don’t be scared little reindeer, it’s just me, your good friend Emil…” Emil sing-songed in a gentle voice. When he was about half through the enclosure, the reindeer decided that he was too close and made another run, but this time only through half of the cage, because there were the loud people waiting outside the enclosure on the other side where Emil had come from. So the deer kind of stood in the middle of the cage, as far away from Emil as possible, and stared.

“Hrmph.” Emil made. “This is just going to continue!” he shouted to the boys, pointing at the deer. They seemed to understand his point, because there was chatter among them and two other boys emerged from the crowd and ducked through the fence. Unlike Emil, they seemed to have experience in this: It didn’t take long until they had cornered one of the animals and held it as still as possible, while the poor animal shrieked in horror, probably thinking its days were counted. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Emil noticed it had antlers, but it didn’t strike him as important in that moment.

One of the guys had brought a bucket that now stood in the enclosure. Emil took it – laughter emerged from the crowd, which was confusing – and he approached the deer. Emil kneeled down, carefully avoiding getting his head too close to the deer’s hooves, and carefully pressed his hands to the underside of the deer. There had to be a thing, some kind of… udder… but there was just soft fur over warm skin and panicked wriggling.

Suddenly, Emil’s hand found something long and furry and… he squealed and pulled his hand back, and even the guys holding the deer couldn’t keep in their laughter anymore. Emil stood up and had a hard time not slamming the bucket into someone’s face.

“Very funny, really!” he said, wanting to leave the enclosure, when one of the guys said. “No! You must ride it!” Emil turned around. “What?” he asked, partly because he guy’s Swedish was so heavily-accented that he wasn’t sure he understood him.

“Must ride it!” the guy repeated, and the other one nodded. The crowd outside the enclosure fell into a chant: “Ratsastaa! Ratsastaa!” And Emil had no hard time guessing what it meant.

The deer was tall, it’s back was about at Emil’s chest, and another guy from the crowd had to come and help him get onto its back. As soon as he was on, Emil slung his arms around the deer’s neck for support, and the guys who had been holding the shrieking and writhing animal released it from their grip. The animal started galloping in an instant, swaying because it wasn’t used to the weight on its back. Emil yelled because he knew he was going to fall down any second. It happened when the deer had reached the other side of the enclosure: It came to a very sudden halt, and Emil was catapulted over the deer's neck. The last thing he felt was the pain when his back and head hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay, you guys are finally at the same point of the story as I am again! (Did that sentence make sense? I don't know.)
> 
> We have about three chapters of this left, btw.   
> Also, I felt like there are a lot of undiscovered mistakes (like typos that word doesn't notice because the typos are also legit words) in this chapter. Feel free to point them out: 
> 
> On the Finnish: It's of course supposed to sound shitty, I mean, it's literally just someone puzzling together a sentence from single words from a dictionary. If it doesn't make any sense like this at all, though, please tell me, you great Finnish people out there! My source for the single words was Google Translate. (and I really looked them up one by one, not in a sentence, because that would be cheating)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally! It has almost been a month since I was able to publish something - but only because I had to finish my bachelor's thesis! Now it's done and handed in and I can finally focus on hobbies, such as writing again. Yay!

When Emil woke up, his first immediate realization was that he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. He wasn’t in the bed he had slept in the last few days. He wasn’t even in the room; let alone the _house_ he had slept in the last few days. And, most importantly, Lalli was not beside him.

Slowly, Emil rose and looked around himself. He was in a dimly lit bedroom. There were more beds next to him. And… trays? And a table and a few chairs around it. When he rose further, he saw that his clothes were lying on a chair next to his bed. He seemed to be in some kind of medical facility. What the heck had happened?

Emil went on to examine his limbs. He rose his arms – the muscles hurt, but otherwise they were fine. No, wait – his hands were chafed. They looked like they had bled last night. Last night… Emil hadn’t been drunk enough to get a blackout, but everything was still a bit of a blur. People dancing and drinking, Onni calling him brother, then they went outside and he rode a deer…

_Ah. There it is. I fell off that deer and probably hit my head?_

He suddenly became aware of the thick fog of headache that hung around his mind. Panicking, his hand rose to his head, carefully examining his scalp. The front and the sides seemed fine, but on the back, he found a big hurting lump, but no bandaging, or, gods forbid, plasters (plasters always meant they had shaved your hair off in the area).

Carefully, Emil fingered through his hair to find out if it had suffered, too. But it at least seemed okay. He lifted himself up and put his naked feet on the ground. He realized that he was just in his underwear and that is was cold. He went over to the chair with his clothes, but when he pulled his shirt over his head, he realized that it smelled horribly of sweat and alcohol. Gods, he needed a shower. He put it on anyway. When he did his belt, he froze.

_The wedding._

The wedding was today! And he was here, in a hospital bed and had slept who knows how long, what if they were already waiting for him? The horrible scenario of Lalli shot through his head, standing at the altar alone, burying his face in shame when Emil failed to appear. No! He couldn’t let that happen!

Without caring to look for his shoes, Emil ran to the door and pulled it open. He indeed was in some kind of hospital, except it was very small – and the corridor he found himself in was empty. He ran past a few closed doors, to find an open one with a nurse sitting inside the room at a table, writing something down.

“Where am I? It’s my wedding today! Where is Lalli?” Emil tried to say at least three things at once when he stumbled nearly over his own feet upon seeing her. The nurse smiled at him and raised her hands and made a calming gesture. It was immediately apparent to Emil that she didn’t understand a word of what he was saying. She gestured him to stay where he was and she called out over the corridor. Another person appeared in a room further down, and they exchanged some words in Finnish, then the other person left the hospital through a bigger door at the end of the corridor.

The nurse smiled at Emil again and gestured him to follow her, so Emil did. They walked back to his room and she picked up his boots with the socks stuffed in there, and then she pushed a fresh towel in his hands and showed him that his room contained access to a shower. Emil couldn’t misunderstand the call, so he closed the door of the bathroom behind himself and undressed again.

_I suppose someone will be coming for me soon?_

He was right: When he stepped out of the bathroom showered and dressed in his icky clothes again, Tuuri was standing in the room. She was in hastily thrown-on clothes and her hair was wet under her hat.

“Emil!” she said, obviously relived to see him. She hugged him, but only briefly when she discovered how he smelled.

“We were really worried last night! Onni came home really late and told us that you had hit your head and they wanted to you spend the night in the hospital, just in case you had a concussion. How are you? How did you manage to hit your head while drinking?”

“I didn’t even drink that much.” Emil said. “I am not even hung-over. I hit my head when they made me ride a deer.”

“What?!” Tuuri yelled.

Emil shook his head and grabbed his coat. “Never mind that. Long story. It was a very peculiar evening overall. How late is it? Did I miss something?”

They left the room together and walked to the room of the nurse, who exchanged a few brief sentences with Tuuri, pointing to Emil once and again, then they were free to leave.

“She just said if you feel nauseous or dizzy you should come back here, then you might still have a concussion.” Tuuri explained. “And it’s still morning, you have a little bit of time left. Let’s get you home first and then we’ll see.” They walked the streets of the settlement together. There was almost no one on the streets.

“Is Lalli home?” Emil asked. “He wasn’t at the stag night yesterday.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Emil, but he’s with friends of Alvar and Ranghild’s now because he needs to get ready and you can’t see him before the wedding!” Tuuri said.

“But you are sure he is definitely there? Like, you saw him go there? Or saw him at all after yesterday evening?”

_Just please tell me that someone has seen him after last night, just please tell me that he hasn’t run off into the woods to never come back._

Emil’s questions were met with silence. Tuuri sighed. “I’ll get you home first, and then I’ll go over and check, yes?” Emil nodded and the two of them walked in silence for the last few metres. Back at home, Ranghild opened the door before they could even knock and greeted him with excited chatter: “Emil! There you are, finally! Are you alright? Nervous? No need to be! Have you showered? Gosh, you smell horrible, maybe just have another one.”

Emil shrugged, and then was handed the clothes the tailor had fitted him with yesterday: Some kind of white leggings what were worn underneath the red pants, and a white shirt.

He shuffled upstairs and went into the bathroom, and showered for the second time in under one hour, except he took greater care of his hair this time and could brush his teeth. Still, the worry about Lalli didn’t leave him, even when he spent a few minutes in front of the mirror, carefully drying and brushing out his hair until he was sure that it looked good enough. The hot water had done his aching muscles some good, but there was still that headache nudging at his brain and every time he touched the back of his head, it hurt as well.

When he opened the door of the bathroom, Ranghild was already waiting and helped him slip into the red jacket that fit the pants.

“Oh, you look marvellous, Emil!” she said. He followed her downstairs into the kitchen, where the twin sisters sat, staring at him wide-eyed. Emil smiled and waved at them a little.

“Is Tuuri back already? She wanted to check on Lalli.” He explained. Ranghild shook her head, then she began picking up the first of the many brooches that lay on the table and carefully applying it to Emil’s shirt, the part that was still visible under the jacket.

“You won’t believe it, you got so many brooches! I don’t even know if we can all fit them on you!” Ranghild said. Lilia stood up to help her mother, applying a few brooches with steady and careful hands. Her sister remained seated.

Then the door opened and Tuuri was back. Emil had to fight the urge to just run up to her and shake the news out of her. “Is he there? Is he okay?” Emil asked.

Tuuri smiled at him, and she looked apologetic when she said: “He’s fine, Emil. Don’t worry. You will see him soon.”

Emil swallowed, and nodded, but kept his eyes fixed on Tuuri as she went to the sink and drank a glass of water, and met her eyes when she looked over to watch Ranghild and Lilia further adorn him with brooches. Emil already could feel that the shirt was being pulled down by their weight, although they now had started using up space on the hem of the jacket as well.

Tuuri smiled at him. “I’ll just be upstairs getting ready, yes?” and with that, she hurried upstairs. That made Ranghild look up. “Oh god, you girls – go and put on your dresses, we have to go soon!” Ileana and Lilia complied. “And try to do your hair tidily this time!” she yelled after them.

She applied the last brooch to Emil, who felt like a cat that had just finished her grade A training as this year’s best.

“Beautiful.” Ranghild said and smiled at him. “Emil, you know I had my doubts when you first came here, but… I am glad this is happening. You and Lalli will make quite the pair.”

_I hope you’re right._ Emil thought.

“I have to go and get dressed now, too – try not to make your clothes dirty!” and with that, she vanished upstairs as well.

Emil sighed and sat on a kitchen chair.

_So. It’s coming. And… thinking about it, I don’t even know what exactly is coming. All I know is that I will be a married man when I get out. And if nothing horrible happens. If Lalli doesn’t change his mind._

The thought of the humiliation and the heartbreak – Lalli, standing before him, deciding that he wasn’t good enough after all, that this wasn’t meant to last, that they would go their separate ways again – was enough to make Emil’s throat tight. He stood up and went to the mirror in the hallway, checking his clothes, brushing a few folds out of the pants, adjusting some of the brooches that chimed with every step he took.

_I look… fine. I wonder what Lalli will wear. Definitely not the same. But I am sure no matter what they are going to stick him into, he’s going to be radiantly beautiful. He never believes it, but he is. Without even trying, unlike me._

There were steps above him, and Tuuri came down into the hallway. Emil grinned when he saw her. She was wearing a long, slim dress in a light blue, and it fit her curves perfectly. Emil was surprised to see a dress like this in a rural Finnish town.

Tuuri grinned back at him. “I know what you’re thinking! I bought during our stay in Iceland! Onni scolded me for spending so much money from my salary on it, but…” She looked down on herself. “I think it was worth every kronen.”

Emil nodded. “I agree.”

One after another, the rest of the family filed in, all wearing their most festive clothing. Through his slowly raising heartbeat, Emil realized that Onni was not with them.

They left the house together and walked through the town, and the further they came, the more people stepped out of their houses and walked with them, whilst keeping a respectful distance. There was excited chatter all around them. Emil tilted his chin upwards and tried to enjoy it, changing is walk into something more of a stroll, looking proud.

_They are talking because of me. Because of us. Come on, enjoy it! This is your day!_

Emil was so invested in standing in the spotlight that he only questioned where they were headed when they arrived: They walked past the deer farm that held bad memories, and then further to the edge of town, to a lake that was surrounded by a wide, flat shore covered in stones and small rocks.

On the other side of the lake started a dark, deep forest made of pine trees.

The town’s people started to gather around the shore, where, just a few metres away from the water, there stood an altar made of stone. Emil looked around. There was no sign of Lalli anywhere. He felt his heart beat hard in his chest and swallowed nervously. The headache started to sting harder at the back of his head again.

_I hope I’m not going to be the one left alone short before the wedding after all… Would Lalli do such a thing?_

Emil felt himself strangely drawn to the altar, and somehow he knew without needing to exchange a word that he was meant to go there. He stepped ever closer to the thing, a heavy-looking block of white stone, probably marble, that looked like it had stood there for a long time already.

He came to a halt in front of it and could make out faint scratch marks on the surface. A quick look behind him told him that the town was watching him.

When he stood before it, he had somehow expected something to magically happen, maybe for music to start, something like that. That wasn’t the case. Emil looked back at the forming crowd of town’s people behind him with Alvar, Ranghild, their daughters and Tuuri at the front, beaming at him. He wanted to walk over to them, but he felt strangely separated from them: There was this huge crowd of people, and there was just him in the front.

Luckily, after maybe a minute of standing around had passed, a man in mage’s clothing came forward, the crowd parting around him respectfully. He walked through them with a face that showed only the tiniest hint of a smile under all the business it meant.

He came up to Emil and gave him a friendly nod. Emil returned an unsure smile.

_And what now? Was that a sign?_

The man took his place behind the white marble. Emil turned his back to the crowd, facing him. The man placed both of his hands on the surface of the stone, and the crowd went quiet all of a sudden.

He began a speech. Emil looked at him and listened to the words coming out of his mouth, and felt uncomfortable. There was no way guessing what he was saying, Emil’s Finnish had never been developed nearly enough to make out words in a full sentence, let alone a wedding speech. Emil wasn’t completely done being pissed about the fact that they didn’t even put an interpreter to his side this time, when the man stopped talking and the crowd was moving, shifting. Emil turned around just in time to see Lalli walking through the crowd that parted around him like he was a magnet and they were all the opposite pole.

Lalli looked… _like not from this world_ , Emil thought. His hair was neat for maybe the first time Emil saw it, most of it tied back, leaving only a few strands to frame his face. He was wearing fur around his shoulders and back and a rich tunic that fell to his knees, on one side of it, one single brooch was attached. It would have been clicking with every step if he was anybody else than Lalli. He looked nervous and determined, his stride told Emil that he was strained to the very bone, but his step never faltered… until he saw Emil.

Their eyes met. And for the first time in weeks, a smile broke on Lalli’s face that made Emil’s knees go weak, just in seeing how honest and relieved and happy it was. Emil wanted to approach him, run over to him and hug him, press him close, lift him off the ground even though he would maybe hate it, and… but no. Lalli fastened his step, nearly running the last few metres over to him. When they finally stood right in front of each other, Emil’s cheeks hurt from smiling already.

“I …” there were so many things Emil wanted to say, but he couldn’t bring out even one of them. And Lalli just shook his head, still with a smile, and took another step forward, so they stood side by side, and could face the marble altar again, together this time. Their hands found each other.

The man placed his hands on the surface of the altar and started talking again. While he was not paying attention due to the fact that he didn’t understand a word, Emil could swear he just heard a familiar voice somewhere in the back of the crowd…

Then, suddenly, the man – Emil would just go with calling him a priest from now on – the priest turned around and extended a hand to the lake behind him, and Emil saw Lalli give a determined nod.

_Uh… what?_

Suddenly, Lalli stirred and started walking again, and Emil let himself being pulled behind.

“Lalli?” he asked. “What are we doing?” Lalli was walking straight up to the lake.

“Lalli, what am I supposed to do?” Lalli kept walking, his hand still firmly locked with Emil’s, and it was only on the shore of the still lake where their boots were almost touching the water that he looked at Emil and explained, with a grim expression: “We have to catch a fish. Both.”

Emi looked back at the crowd that was slowly, but decidedly following them to the shore.

“What?!” he hissed under his breath at Lalli.

Lalli sighed and said it again: “We have to catch a fish. You catch one fish; I catch one fish. No”, he took a second searching his mind for the word “tools. And when you catch one first, you are…” he stopped because the words seemed to fail him. Emil was too horrified by the thought of going into the lake to care, anyway.

“But the water will be icy! We won’t feel our feet within seconds!” he protested. He was more than surprised when Lalli pulled him in close for a short moment and placed a kiss on his temple. “Don’t die.” He said with a smile that was a mixture of mocking and true worry, and then Lalli made his way straight into the water without another word. Emil heard him hiss at the cold, but he just walked on, and on, until the water stood around his ankles, then his knees.

Emil felt pressed by the heavy eyes of the crowd behind him, and he started to walk into the water as well, but far slower and far less decided then Lalli. The water was painful from the start on, as soon as it ran into his boots, he felt like a thousand needles were stinging his legs and feet. Also, it felt incredibly icky.

Emil pressed his teeth together and kept walking. Lalli was already quite a few metres ahead, with the water almost up to his hips. Emil had no intention of walking that far. When the water was up to his calves, the pain had become almost unbearable, and he felt like his body temperature had already been cooled down to its lowest minimum. His legs felt twice as heavy as normal when he waded through the water, the shoes and socks and pants clung wet and icy to his legs. He realized his teeth were clattering together.

He stopped when the water invaded a new region around his knees and he felt they were ready to give out under him. Lalli stood still quite a few metres apart, and unlike Emil, who kept shifting and moving, he stood perfectly still, his face a mask of concentration. It was only then when Emil realized again that he had a task: Catch a fish. With his bare hands.

Emil looked down into the lake beneath him. Apart from the fact that it was so cold it was threatening to freeze his legs off, it was perfect for the task: It was clear as the sky on a summer day and just as calm. And, more importantly, Emil could already make out movements of life in it. Unfortunately, the fish weren’t amused by him stirring up the water around him – there was a school of a few small ones just heading away from him. Emil watched them glide out of sight and felt like he might just let himself fall into the water and sink to the ground.

He shot over a glance at Lalli, who still stood in the water, face locked in perfect concentration, standing still as a statue, watching the water underneath him.

_He is going to win anyway…_ Emil thought, but when he suddenly saw Lalli thrash in his first failed attempt to pull a fish out of the water, his fighting spirits came up. _Or maybe not!_

He tried to mirror Lalli – standing perfectly still, and after a minute, he realized that as long as he wasn’t moving, his numbing legs didn’t hurt as much as when he was trying to keep them alive.

_As long as they still carry me and don’t fall off afterwards, to hell with them, who needs legs anyway?_

Emil watched the water underneath him just like Lalli did, and just like Lalli he made a few first desperate attempts to grab a fish out of the water. But the bastards were always quicker than him, gone before he got so much as his hands deep enough into the water. Out of the corner of his eye, he heard Lalli curse when he made a fourth or fifth failed attempt and pulled his arms out of the water dripping wet and unsuccessful.

But no matter how often they hit the water, the fish kept coming back and swarming around them. Emil wondered if they had been hexed somehow. Also, weren’t fish supposed to sleep when it was cold or something like that…? Did fish even go to sleep?

Either way, hexed fish or not, Emil decided he needed a change of tactics. Even though the coldness made him gasp in pain, he dipped his fingers into the water slowly and held them as still as he could. As always, the fish first were scared off by his movement, but after a (very hurtful) minute or two, they slowly crept back, swarming around him, and since he was watching them even closer than before now, Emil had the impression they were going him in circles… Then, he had to at least slightly open and close his hand once to make sure it wasn’t completely numb already, and the fish scattered off again. “Fuck.” Emil said. While he waited for the fish to come back again, he threw over another look at Lalli. His lover was bended over with his face close to the water, a position Emil never could have hold, and his eyes were fixed downwards, apparently noticing every little movement going on around him, while his tunic swam in the water around his hips. Emil looked away to not feel too discouraged.

_What if we never catch one? Or **I** never catch one? Will I just be send back home because I’m not fitted for marriage if I can’t catch a fish with my bare hands? _

The fish had come back. Emil watched their thin long silhouettes glide through the water, first a meter away, and then ever closer. Then, one brushed his hand with its tail while swimming by. Emil pressed his lips together and became painfully aware of a strand of loose hair that was hanging in his eyes, distracting him. He still didn’t move an inch or tried to brush or blow it away.

His instinct was to move carefully, but he knew that would scare the fish away again. A few meters away, he heard the splashing of water and a curse in Finnish. Although he could see the water tremoring up to where he stood, it didn’t seem to bother his pray. Emil waited until another few swam close and fixed his eyes on a specific fish, about the size of his hand, but longer. Another few painful nanoseconds passed as Emil watched it swim closer to him … and … Emil lunged with his hand out to the fish, grabbing at skin so smooth it could just as well be water, and raising his hand out of the lake, his fingers digging as hard as they could into a wriggling, slimy fish. Emil grabbed the animal with both hands, hard, to prevent it from escaping. The crowd on the shore broke into a cheer, people shouting his name and clapping.

Emil looked over to Lalli, who stared at him with a mix of awe and anger. Emil would have felt sorry for his victory if it hadn’t been so unlikely – and if it didn’t mean that they would get out of the water sooner. He wondered if it would be an asshole move of him to just leave the water now and let Lalli stand in the lake alone. But no matter how hard he was shivering now and how numb his legs felt, you just didn’t leave the man you were about to wed – or currently wed-ding? – standing alone in a freezing cold lake. So he grabbed hard onto his still writhing fish, and watched Lalli.

His victory had made his lover desperate. Lalli was thrashing at the water more often now, and he didn’t quite manage to stand still between the plunges he made at the wildlife beneath him. Emil could see on his face that he was angry, probably more at himself than anything else.

_Hopefully not at me. It’s not my fault you do these crazy things here._

Then, an idea seemed to have come to Lalli. He raised himself straight up and took a look at the shore, pinching his eyes as he seemed to be trying to make something out there. Then, he bent back, slowly, and dipped his hand into the water. Emil bit his lip at the sight because he could still feel the icy touch of the water at his own hands that were still desperately clutching the fish that was slowly suffocating in his hands. He felt kind of sorry that he couldn’t end the poor thing’s life quicker.

But then, his focus shifted onto Lalli again. His lover was bend over the water so low that his face almost touched the surface, the furs around his shoulders already wet with stray droplets of water.

His arm was in the water almost to the shoulder, and his face was crunched in concentration. There was no trashing, no movement in his body but his lips, that were mumbling in a low voice. Emil gasped when he finally realized that was happening: Magic. And only a second later, Lalli pulled himself up, a trashing fish grabbed by its tail. And the crowd broke into an even louder cheer when Lalli raised the fish into the air with a grim expression. Emil couldn’t believe his eyes: Lalli had cheated, hadn’t he? “Bare hands” surely didn’t include water bending magic? But it didn’t matter, it meant they could leave this damn lake.

Both holding tightly onto their catch, they made their way back, wading through the icy water, though Emil felt so less in his legs by now that it didn’t matter anymore. When they reached the surface though, with no more water around him to partly support his weight, he felt how heavy and numb his legs really were.

Still, Emil followed Lalli back to the altar, and like Lalli, he gave his fish to the priest, who took both of them and placed them on the flat surface of the altar. Lalli resumed his place back in front of the it with the back to the crowd, and Emil came after and stood next to him. Emil wiped his ice-cold hand on his pant leg and took Lalli’s again. He was surprised to find that Lalli was… warm. He shuffled a tiny step closer to Lalli to check if his freezing brain wasn’t playing a trick on him, but no – Lalli was definitely emitting some kind of warmth. Magic again, Emil thought, but with a smile this time. He shuffled another step closer and slowly raised his arm and put it around Lalli’s waist, and Lalli snuggled slightly against him. The heat that Lalli gave off helped Emil partly forget the uncomfortable cold around his legs up to his knees that was worsened by the cold air.

The priest began to talk again, but Emil was distracted by the very, very low mumbling that came from Lalli’s direction and brushed Emil’s hair with its breath: Apparently the prayer he had to keep up to keep the spell and the wonderful warmth running. In the back of his head, Emil hoped that Lalli wasn’t exhausting himself by using so much magic.

Then, Emil twitched as the priest suddenly took up a huge axe he had pulled from god knows where and decapitated the fish they caught with one powerful strike that made the metal of the axe clank against the stone of the altar. The crowd behind them once again cheered and clapped.

Emil realized that even though the warmth of Lalli next to him was comfortable, he was shivering and his teeth were clattering against one another. But he had no time to give that any further thought. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lalli look over his shoulder, then he gasped and grabbed tightly at Emil’s waist. When Emil turned around to see what was scaring Lalli, he was seeing red. Literally. There was a wall of red fabric, tall as a man, coming ever closer to them, and before he could see who was holding it up – did it matter? It was probably some stupid town oafs anyway -  the fabric engulfed him and Lalli, and wound around them, enveloping them in a world of red fabric, pressing them ever closer together, until they were flush against each other, hugging because there was nothing else to do with their arms and there was no space left.

“What are they doing?!” Emil exclaimed when the fabric pressed them uncomfortably close together and was apparently rolled around them a few times, becoming ever tighter.

“I don’t know…” Lalli said, eyes wide, obviously not liking it. His hands were wrapped around Emil around his biceps, hands pressed to his shoulder blades. Then, there was more shuffling outside, and suddenly, their fabric world tipped over. They both screamed in surprise when they were tilted until they were lying in the fabric roll, and they screamed even more when the whole thing was suddenly picked up.

When Emil had emerged from the water, he thought that this was the most uncomfortable he could get today – boy, he was wrong. What followed were a few minutes of the most uncomfortable short journey Emil and Lalli had ever made: Rolled tightly into some kind of thin red carpet, pressed uncomfortably close together, carried around by a few people who shifted and stumbled from time to time, which lead to hurtful jumps they felt in every bone. While Lalli pressed his head tightly into Emil’s shoulder and apparently tried not to panic – Emil wasn’t sure if he had forgotten: Was Lalli claustrophobic? – Emil busied himself by trying to figure out whether he knew one of the voices chattering among others outside their red prison or not…

At one point, the fabric around them was rolled mid-air a little, and they both screamed and locked their legs in panicked attempts to find any kind of hold when suddenly their positions where changed and Emil was lying on top of Lalli now. “Oh gosh, fuck, I’m sorry, if you just… to the side… I don’t want to crush you…” Emil hastily said, trying to find his footing and some space so he didn’t have to lie directly on top of Lalli. Normally, he might have enjoyed that, but now wasn’t the time, not with Lalli looking like he was going to hyperventilate if this didn’t end soon. Luckily, it did. Their red fabric prison was lowered until it lay on the ground and they were unrolled again, quite unceremoniously. When Emil took the first hand that was offered him to get up, he startled. In front him stood, grinning the widest grin that the town hall they were in had ever seen, Sigrun. Emil was too dumbfounded to speak.

“Heeeey!” Sigrun yelled, still laughing and pulled him in for a hug that felt like an assault. They patted each other on the back before pulling back. Emil stared at Sigrun, who was clad in a white tunic with rich embroidery and military decorations, marking her as a colonel now.

“How- how did you get here? And when?!” Emil stuttered. Beside him, Lalli got up to his feet without help and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Sigrun.

“Twig! Great to see you, too!” Sigrun exclaimed and extended her fist for a friendly punch to his shoulder, which Lalli skilfully dodged.

Before Emil got to ask another question, the huge frame of Mikkel Madsen came into view. “You TOO?!” Emil yelled. “Don’t tell me the-“ A giggling rose from behind Emil and both he and Lalli turned around to see Reynir standing right in front of them. “Hej Emil!” he said, waving.

Emil turned back to Sigrun. “When did you all come here?! I can’t believe it!” For some reason, the fact that the crew was together again made Emil incredibly happy. He felt like he had been alone among strangers for the past week, and now that was suddenly over and he was… back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was The Wedding, part one! It was long enough already that I thought I might publish this part first. As usual, every single tradition mentioned here is either completely made up by me, or... no, I think every single one in this chapter is just made up. 
> 
> A funny guessing game: What's the prize of being the one to catch a fish first?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this has been a while!   
> Let's see if we can get this thing finished soon.

When the ceremonies were over, Emil was tired. In the last few hours, he had danced, given a Finnish speech that had been written for him by somebody else, someone had poured a bucket of Finnish beer pudding all over his clothes and his hair…

He was tired and fed up. And through all this mess, he hadn’t even gotten much time to spend with neither Lalli nor the crew, who had been happy participants in all this nonsense they had been put through.

But now, it finally seemed to get close to an end. Right now, everyone had taken their seats around the table where everyone usually had dinner, and Emil was looking forward to eating something never Lalli nor he had to cook for once. He took a seat with the rest of the crew and Lalli’s family on a table.

But as soon as his legs had adjusted themselves comfortably under the table, Aunt Ranghild shushed them up once again. Emil and Lalli got up again, and since Lalli seemed to know what was up, Emil followed him.

Lalli walked over to the front where the tables all came together. The big scary men where there again. Emil swallowed, but kept his footsteps steady as they walked over to their chairs.

One of them held a kitten. In front of them, the men seemed to congratulate Lalli, and he bowed to them and accepted the kitten, then mimicked for Emil to come to his side and bow as well.

Big Scary Man leaned down to him with a smirk. “You won.” He said. “Have fun… later.” He said in broken Swedish.

His other scary man friend seemed to find that hilarious. To his further confusion, Emil saw Lalli blush. They walked back to their table followed by another cascade of applause from the townspeople. Emil looked at the cat Lalli was carrying in his arms, it was a baby still, with three colours, black, brown and white. She was adorable.

“Why are we having her?” Emil asked Lalli as they walked the few steps back to their table.

“Traditon.” Lalli answered. As Emil sat back down, he placed the cat in Emil’s lap. “She’s ours now.” He said.

“Oh my god!” Emil said. This might be the first pleasant surprise Lalli’s hometown ever had for him. He carefully placed his hands around the small creature and stroked it. The kitty was scared from all the noise and had been struggling before, but as Emil engulfed her with his warm hands, she seemed to get calmer and she trustingly pressed herself against his chest. Emil smiled up to Lalli.

Lalli gave a tired smile back.

After that, there was finally dinner. It was a long one, but Emil was happy about that. They were served the weirdest stuff, but Emil found enough to stuff himself full nonetheless. Sitting and eating finally gave him some time to catch up with Sigrun and the others, too, and he was happy to finally have somebody to chat with again.

After the last course had been cleared away, Tuuri got up.

“Emil, Lalli!” she shouted so they would stand up and come over to her.

“Onni and me have the honour of helping you through your last stage.” She said with a proud smile. She had thrown a coat over her dress, because by now it had started to dawn.

“And what’s that?” Emil asked, repressing a burp with a polite cough.

“Oh, I’m so excited!” Tuuri squeaked. “We’re going to take you into the forest! I mean, we can’t take you very far, but we will walk with you for a while to make sure you find the way!”

“Forest? What?” Emil asked, looking over to Lalli standing by his side. He just shrugged, but it was the kind of “nothing you can do”-shrug he tended to use for a lot of things happening here.

“Why are we going into the forest?” Emil asked again as they started walking, leaving the feast under the eyes of the town, cheering after them. When they left the town’s square, Onni stood there with a sleigh. No, not just any sleigh, Emil noticed to his dread. It was the one he had to build a few days ago. Now, observed by the four of them, it looked even crappier. The sleigh, crappy as it might be, carried a few blankets, sleeping bags and a few big sacks.

Onni said something to Tuuri, then started to walk further away from the party.

“Okay, here it goes!” Tuuri said. “We are going to walk you to the edge of town. About two kilometres from here, someone from the town has set up a tent and a campsite for you. You have to spend the night there! As the saying goes, if none of you has fled the scene or killed the other one out of spite during the night, you’re going to love each other forever!”

After she said all that, she seemed to repeat the same in Finnish. Emil listened to the sing-song of her voice, wondering if it was any use, if he would ever have the slightest idea of what she was saying if he started to learn it.

Then, Tuuri said something that made Lalli growl and blush next to Emil.

“Huh?” Emil asked, looking at Lalli, who just turned his face from him and pressed his lips together.

Tuuri giggled.

“Well, there is one last thing…” She cleared her throat, and Emil believed he saw a flush creep up her neck.

“You know, Emil, you caught a fish first.” She said.

“Um, yeah? So what?” Emil asked, furrowing his brows.

“You know, that tradition was especially forged only a few years ago for same-sex couples. It’s… it’s a bit silly.”

“Spit it, Tuuri.” Emil said.

“Um. It means you…” Tuuri cleared her throat again. “As the tradition is concerned, it grands you the right to… top. Tonight.” After she had said that, Tuuri turned around and walked a little faster for a moment so she wouldn’t have to look into Emil’s eyes.

“Top?” Emil looked at Lalli, who didn’t meet his gaze. Slowly, he understood.

“Um.” He said. “That’s bullshit, Tuuri.”

Tuuri didn’t turn around. “Not my department!” she yelled behind herself. “I couldn’t care less! It’s just what I’m supposed to say!”

Emil shook his head and they walked on in silence for a while. Grand him the right to top… As if he was going to enforce any rights on Lalli at any point! But it wasn’t the thought of fulfilling any special role that made him a little dizzy when he entertained it, it was the promise of closeness, of this special kind of intimacy…

After a few minutes, they reached the end of the town. There was a gate of two doors, which was currently closed. Onni stepped over to it, leaving the sleigh behind for a moment, and opened them.

He waved Emil over to him, who hesitantly stepped over.

“Huh?” he asked.

Onni cleared his throat. Emil send a prayer to any god who was willing to listen that he was not going to talk about sex as well.

“Be back by noon tomorrow."

Onni said in Swedish. His words sounded carefully practiced. “If you hurt him, I will curse you to tuonela.” Emil blinked.

“I won’t.” he promised.

Together, Emil and Lalli stepped through the gate, the rope of the sleigh in one of Emil’s hands.

-

“Are you sure this is the right way?” Emil asked after a good while of walking. In the same moment, he cursed himself for it. Lalli was a scout, dammit, of course he knew the right way!

Lalli, always walking a few paces ahead of Emil, no matter how much he tried to catch up, just shushed him. By now, it was pitch-dark, even though it was probably still afternoon. It had started to snow again, and already a while ago, Emil had thrown over one of the blankets. There was no way to protect his feet, on which he wore shoes too fine for this trip, so they were already wet and felt frozen and prickly.

Emil couldn’t imagine he had eaten and drunken something warm only barely an hour ago. He felt like they had been walking, straining against the snow, for days on end already.

“Lalli…” he said, not very loudly.

“Hm.” Lalli answered.

“What if we don’t find the way?” Emil asked.

“Then we have to return in shame and let my aunt and uncle tell us that this is a bad sign and that they knew you weren’t the right one for me after all and… No. Not happening.” Lalli stopped for a second to look at Emil.  “Almost there.”

He kept walking, and so did Emil.

Half an hour later, Emil slipped on a wet root and fell face-first into the snow. Lalli came to help him up, squeezed his hand, and, much to Emil’s delight, kissed the bruise on his face where he had hit a stone. They walked hand in hand after that, even though it made Lalli pull Emil after him because he was used to being faster.

As Emil was about to complain that he was too cold and tired to keep walking, they arrived at the tent. It was completely snowed in, and it was very likely that they had walked past it before without noticing, at least that’s what Emil thought.

There was a fireplace with stones in front of the tent, which was completely snowed in now. Emil looked at it sadly. 

“Well, no fire for us, I guess.” He said. Lalli ignored him and crawled into the tent.

“Wood!” he said. He came back out with a bundle of dry branches in his hands. Emil cheered.

Together they quickly built a fireplace with it, whoever had made the camp had even thought of leaving some dry paper for the ignition. As Lalli smartly refused the lighter Emil always had with himself (not-so-old habit) and ignited the wood with a magic spell, Emil thought he was falling in love all over again. How did he deserve such a cool, literally magical boyfriend?

They brought all their things into the tent and huddled at its entrance, as close to the fire as possible. Emil moaned when he could finally take off his boots and hold his feet onto the warmth.

When they had made sure that the fire would be burning for a while, they made themselves comfortable in the tent, setting everything up with hides on the floor and warm blankets all around them.

As they cuddled together in the gloomy darkness, Emil gently wrapped his arms around Lalli.

“I’m glad this all over.” He said. Lalli looked at him and nodded.

“Because it means we’re husbands now.” Emil said. Lalli nodded again, this time harder, and presses his mouth to Emil’s.

“Emil?” Lalli said when they parted a few moments later.

“Hm?”

“Can we… can we bail tomorrow?” Lalli asked in a serious voice.

“Wait? Bail? What do you mean?”

Lalli sighed. “Leave. Leave this town. Leave Finland.”

Emil grinned. “Right tomorrow? Don’t you want to spend some more time with your family?”

“I’m sick of my family.” Lalli said with a gravity that was very special for him. “I want to… change things.”

“Um. Sure! Sure, if you want to leave, we’ll go.” Emil said, pressing a kiss to Lalli’s head.

After a moment of silence, Lalli sat up. He slithered out of Emil’s embrace, and even though he immediately started to shiver terribly, he crawled to one side of the tent and grabbed a small bag that had been lying there.

He came back and handed it to Emil, then shimmied back under the blankets and made himself comfortable.

“My morning gift.”  He said.

“But we’re supposed to exchange those to apologize for the bad sex we had tonight!” Emil said with a grin, already opening it.

Unwrapping the cloth wound around it, Emil found in it a comb. It was made from a material he didn’t know – it felt hard, but not like stone, it was a little like wood, but it glistened, and there were incredibly fine carvings on it. Some of it was Finnish, others were ornaments or drawings.

“Lalli…” Emil said with a smile.

“I made it myself.” Lalli said, sounding a little nervous.

“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!” Emil cried, pressing himself close to Lalli. “Thank you! Thank you so much. I love you!”

They kissed again. As Emil wanted to part, Lalli didn’t let him. They kissed and kissed, their tongues dancing around each other, teasing each other’s lips, until they were breathless.

“I can’t wait for that bad sex you promised.” Lalli said under his breath. Emil thought he might faint.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're ending this now. Yay!

As Emil awoke the following morning, he immediately felt the chill that had laid itself all over him – even though there was a warm body breathing next to him. He stared at the ceiling of their tent of white cloth, now grey with lack of light and probably snow on the top.

The next thing he noticed was that his right arm was slightly numb, because a particular mob of pale blond hair had been lying on it all night. Emil turned his head and breathed in the delicious smell of Lalli right next to him.

But the more he woke up, he noticed other uncomfortable things: The blanket had been pushed off from one of his feet at some point, which was now freezingly cold, even though he was wearing thick woollen socks. A muscle in the arm Lalli was sleeping on felt like it was twisted in a strange way and began stinging. As he noticed a bump on the ground that had been poking into his kidney all night, Emil decided that it was time to get up. He raised the arm that was not wedged underneath his husband and gently brushed his fingers over Lalli’s cheek. Slowly, Lalli raised his head, then his upper body from their sleeping space and looked down at Emil, who was happy that he could now move as well.

“Hey.” Lalli said. The expression on his face was unreadable.

“Morning.” Emil said with a smile. “Regretting anything?” he asked. It was only half a joke. But Lalli smiled.

“Never.” Then, he rose to his feet, straightened his clothes and put on his belt again. They had not really taken off any of their clothing last night to preserve warmth.

Still, Emil could not help but see Lalli in a new light now. _Husband_ , the mouthed by himself while Lalli stepped into his shoes, savouring the word on his tongue, watching Lalli’s slender body’s every movement. A slight flush crept up his neck and his heart started pumping a little faster. They had not actually done what they were probably expected to be doing last night, because that was simply not how relationships work. But they had time. They had all the time in the world, and the glimpse Emil had gotten last night, the kissing, roaming his hands over Lalli’s body, Lalli’s hands kneading the muscles of his back… It had been more than he had ever hoped for.

Now that Lalli was fully dressed, he opened the flap of the tent, and Emil couldn’t help but gasp at the whiff of cold air that rushed inside.

“It’s still storming.” Lalli observed, ducking out of the tent anyway.

Emil rose and reluctantly put his belt and shoes back on, shrugged into another warm coat and followed Lalli outside. Cold wind and tiny snowflakes hit him in the face. Their burned-down campfire was completely snowed in again, almost to the point of being unrecognizable. The roof of their tent was bending under the weight of snow.

“We should go.” Lalli stated, angling for their sleeping furs from out of the tent as soon as Emil was out of the way.

Together, they rolled their furs into a pile that Emil strung together with a piece of cord, while Lalli dissembled their tent.

From time to time, Emil would throw Lalli a look while they were working. Was it time? Was it time now?

When Lalli had rolled the tent canvas into another tight package and was loading it onto their sleight, Emil took a deep breath.

“Lalli.” He said. At first, Lalli barely looked up from his work and just hummed as a sound that he was listening, but then, their eyes found each other and Lalli’s fingers stopped what they were doing.

Looking at Emil openly like that made Lalli smile, even if a bit nervously.

Emil walked up to him and put his arms around Lalli’s waist. He leaned in close and nuzzled a tiny piece of Lalli’s neck where he could find it through the thick clothes he was wearing. Around them, the wind seemed to gush harder by the minute.

“I have something for you.” Emil mumbled. After he said, he was stupidly afraid that Lalli couldn’t hear him over the wind and the moment would be ruined by them incomprehensibly yelling at each other.

“I thought so.” Lalli answered, but there was a smile in his words. Emil went over to the sleigh and … stared at it. Where had he put the knife?

A crushing realization dawned on him. He had not seen that stupid thing since… when exactly?

Emil repressed a curse.

“Um. Well. Um. It seems that I have… misplaced your morning gift.” Emil said, looking back at Lalli with a beaten-up expression. “But I am sure it’s here somewhere?”

Actually, he wasn’t sure at all, but he sure as hell was not ready to give up just yet. He picked up the furs he had just put into the sleigh and began searching the thing thoroughly, even though there was not much to search on a plain wooden sleigh. For every corner that left him unsuccessful, he panicked a little more.  

What if forgetting someone’s morning gift was the worst omen of all? What if in Lalli’s culture, that meant 100 years of unhappy marriage and bad sex?

“It’s… okay?” Lalli said behind him, still busy with their tent. “It doesn’t matter.”

Emil repressed another curse. Yes, damn, it very much did matter!

“No, I’m sure someone thought of it, I’m sure it’s… HA!” Emil shouted louder than he had to when he finally found what he’d been looking for. Someone had strapped the knife underneath the sleigh with a cord, invisible to somebody who wasn’t currently frantically searching every centimetre of the sleigh.

He pulled it free with some effort and held it behind his back as he strode over to Lalli with new-found flourish.

“Lalli.” He said, so that Lalli would stop fiddling with the wet canvas of their tent and look at him.

“I had a great last night, even if it was cold. I love you.” Emil said, and proudly presented the knife.

Whatever he had imagined what happen, he didn’t know afterwards. Lalli took the knife. His eyes shone. He examined it closely, his mouth slightly opened as if in wonder. Then he unsheathed it, tried it carefully with the tip of his thumb, ran his hand over the blade, over the handle. If he was surprised that there was nothing engraved on it, he didn’t express it.

Then, he carefully tucked it into his belt, all the while Emil stood right in front of him, still waiting for a reaction. Only when the knife was secured, Lalli looked up and at Emil again – and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

When they finally were ready to make their way back, it was hard to find the path they had taken last night. In fact, without Lalli guiding the way, Emil wouldn’t have found it at all. Just like the night before, Lalli lead the way, his feet always somehow finding the safest way to tread through the snow, while Emil pulled the sleight and stumbled after him as best as he could. At least Lalli was waiting up sometimes. That was more that could be said for most of the tours they had done together during the expedition, Emil grimly thought as he almost slipped on a root that had been hidden under the snow. A root Lalli of course had skilfully avoided, however that was possible, given the fact that they both couldn’t see much more than the other’s silhouette and maybe five meters ahead of themselves.

As they plunged on, the weather seemed to get even worse. The wind was starting to roar around them, the trees creaking dangerously as they stomped through the snowed in underbrush. Emil managed to make the sleigh topple over twice already, and when it happened for the third time, he felt like he was going to cry.

“How much longer do you think we have to go?!” he asked, the first thing he had said since about two hours.

Lalli just shrugged. Emil wondered if he really didn’t know (which would be a very bad sign) or if he was just not in the mood of answering (which would also be bad, but a less).

After maybe another half an hour of walking, they came onto a clearing. Emil had no idea if he had seen this one before – snow lay on everything like a thick blanket, and on top of that, wind obscured his vision by whirling even more snowflakes around.

Lalli lead them around the edge of the clearing instead of walking out into the open, and after a few minutes, they were back in the forest again.

“I’m sorry.” He suddenly said, without slowing his steps or looking back.

“What?” Emil asked, partly because he wasn’t sure he had understood Lalli right over the sound of the wind.

“I said I’m sorry.” Lalli repeated, slowing his steps so he was closer to Emil, even though not levelled.

“Why?” Emil asked.

“Because coming here was stupid.” Lalli said, throwing Emil a side glance.

“What are you talking about?” Emil asked, dragging his hand over his face because some snowflakes just got caught in his eyelashes.

“My family just dragged you around and everything was a mess and weird and we didn’t even get to see each other really.” Lalli said. “And I didn’t even do anything against it. I just kept running away.” He sounded angry, although he had to shout so much over the rush of the wind that he would have sounded angry either way.

Emil had to admit that at least part of this was true.

“But… we’re married now! At least by Finnish law.” Emil offered. “And that’s something. And ceremony was actually fun, at least some parts of it!”

Lalli just shrugged.

“Don’t you like being married to me?” Emil asked carefully.

“’course I do.” Lalli said, almost too quiet to hear.

“See!” Emil smiled and reached forward to take Lalli’s hand as they walked on.

“Then not all of this has been for nothing. And I am sure we will find our way out of this stupid snowstorm soon, too. Otherwise, my husband will have to provide for me for the rest of my life because I will lose my toes and won’t be able to walk anymore.”

“You know I would do that.”

“And that is all that matters, really. Let’s worry about the rest once we’re warm, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue is also already finished and will be published after I did some more editing on it. Beware of my ramblings at the end of the epilogue, gosh, I can already warn that I have some stuff to say about this piece :D


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are! It's finished. I am incredibly proud of myself I managed to bring this to an end.   
> For those who don't want to be reading my angry ramblings in the notes down below, let me just say: Thank you for reading this, and thank you for writing to me! Every comment always matters a lot to me.

“But you promise to come visit, Lalli, right?” Aunt Ranghild asked for the fourteenth time. Lalli responded the same he had the thirteen times before: He nodded once, then he looked over to Emil and rolled his eyes. Emil bit his lip and stifled a giggle. He was giddy; they were finally leaving. Right now, in fact.

Lalli, Emil, Tuuri, Aunt Ranghild and Uncle Alvar, their daughters and Onni were standing on the tiny pier on the shore of lake Saimaa, watching a boat appear in the misty distance.

Tuuri, who was standing right behind Emil, nudged him in the ribs. “Happy to be off, hm?” she said, the grin evitable in her voice, but quiet enough so her aunt and uncle wouldn’t hear.

“Honestly,” Emil said, leaning slightly back towards her, “I don’t understand how you can possibly want to be staying here.”

Tuuri giggled again. “I won’t.” she said in the tiniest of whisper. Emil believed he was doing Tuuri a favour if he kept it at that. They would hear from her soon enough, he was sure.

Slowly the boat glided towards them into sight. It was the same puny thing that had brought them here what seemed like an eternity ago, conducted by exactly the same person.

“And you will write, yes?” Uncle Alvar said to Lalli. Lalli nodded and rolled his eyes. Emil grinned even wider. Lalli would have probably promised his family the moon by now if it only meant they could leave. The last days, he had been more restless than Emil had ever seen him before, constantly drawn between the need to be close to Emil and outside of the town barricades.

“And you will keep him safe, yes?!” Aunt Ranghild tugged harshly at Emil’s tunic. Emil yelped in surprise.  “Uh, yes, sure, sure. I will. Please don’t worry.” He answered politely.

Seconds grew into another few minutes, as they were all watching the boat, mostly silent.

And there it was. It came to a halt, swaying against the old tires that were nailed to the pier to stop the worst of the impact of incoming boats. As a man put out a wooden plank as a gangway, Emil’s eyes almost fell out as the same old woman that had made the journey with them the first time beat them to it, rudely squeezing past Uncle Alvar and almost shoving Lilia into the water. Why her?!

“Okay, it’s time.” Uncle Alvar said, as if it was him leaving. Emil gathered up two bags, Lalli took another one, and the cage that held their little kitty.

“Thank you, aunt and uncle.” Lalli said, even though he did not sound like the meant it. Emil could see how much strength it costed him to even hold their gazes.

“Yes, thank you for everything.” Emil repeated, sounding slightly more like he meant it.

“Be safe, you two.” Aunt Ranghild said, sighing and pressing them to herself for a quick hug. “It was such a pleasure to have you. Please make sure you visit us as soon as you are settled into your new home.”

After that, more and more of ones left behind suddenly wanted a hug, which Emil felt the need to return, unlike Lalli, who shortly embraced Tuuri and threw Onni a long look, then hopped over the plank into the boat, his new knife glistening in its new holster at his hip.

Emil followed as soon as he was released and took his place next to him. He took Lalli’s hand. That was where he truly belonged, after all. Hand in hand, they watched as the lake of Lalli’s childhood disappeared in the fog, the waving silhouettes becoming ever more obscured.

“Say,” Lalli said as they finally turned away. “What do we have to do to be married before Swedish law?”

With a shock, Emil realized that there had never been a marriage certificate. Suddenly, he felt very, very weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, done!   
> So, first of all, let me say thank you again. Thanks for reading and thanks for writing to me. Seeing the amount of hits this has already feels incredible for me. 
> 
> Now, to my ramblings. Please, if you had fun reading this and just liked if for the hell of it, don't mind me and proceed, but there are a few things I need to get off my chest before I can really close the lid on this.   
> So, I started writing this when I had only very recently joined the fandom and hardly knew anything compared to what I know and understand now. A lot of things I had done a lot differently with the knowledge I have now. Also, I did not plan any of those chapters. I wrote. That's it. I just wrote, and this is also important to know, because I COULD. Because after a period of like... 2 years? I finally had a fandom that inspired me enough to write again, and that felt like an incredible blessing, so I just went for it. More importantly, I hadn't written a longer on-going thing for years and years. Like the last time I did that might be like... 8 years ago? Maybe even longer?   
> But there are so many stupid mistakes in this that I am now aware of, and that sometimes made it hard for me to even think about continuing this; there are so many continuity errors in this, so many OCs that appear and disappear and are completely useless, and I just didn't bother keeping track of them. And now, I have to say I am really embarassed about all of that.   
> But then again... writing is learning for me. Writing is growing, understanding and getting better. I am better at writing right now than I was when I started this fanfic, and if I look back at this in a year or two, I will cringe even harder, because I will again have gotten a lot better. And part of the reason why I got the chance to get better is this amazing, loving and gratifying fandom I have found myself in with you guys, and so many people over at the irc and the forum. So thank you so much, again and again.


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